I'm in one of those crabby moods where the world feels like it's upside down. Everything is completely blown out of proportion and I'm glad to have it that way to sustain my crabby mood. Isn't that how it works? Really, there's no good reason for my bad mood but I decided that I am fed up with worrying but I can't seem to help myself.
Today, I went to the doctors for my little check-up and he "stripped my membrane" and said to come on in if I had any sort of consistent contractions. I love my doctor and our family has developed a good relationship with him over the years. I would love for him to deliver our daughter but he can only do that when he's on call. He gets off at 8am tomorrow and it doesn't look like any consistent contractions are starting. Uhg. Fine if we have the kid a week later with our doc, but the little kiddo will probably come in the next couple of days, during Jaret's Denver trip, or just after the doc gets off tomorrow morning and we'll be stuck with some doctor that doesn't care about any of us.
What if Brooklyn does come tonight, though? I don't know who we'll have watch her. I don't know where she'll stay while I'm at the hospital. We have friends that are totally willing to take her, but I don't like the idea of taking advantage of them or overusing or overwhelming them.
I don't know if things will go as smoothly as they did with Holland. I don't know who my friend can find to watch her daughter that I'm supposed to look after tomorrow. What if I the no sweets diet I'm going on after Brooklyn is born is extra extra hard and I resent the fact that I just bought one last box of Oreos to enjoy but could only eat one because my appetite stinks right now. I'll have to give the whole thing away along with all the yummy ice cream in the freezer.
If the kid does come tonight, who's going to fill in for me at church? Am I going to be so exhausted all the time that I'm constantly upset with Holland? I sure am having a hard time dealing with her whining and clinging and lack of eating. All she wants is sweets. I can't blame her, I feel the same way!
The kids aside, what about the job and the doe? What if Jaret doesn't get any of these jobs he's interviewing for? What if he DOES get one or more and we have to move? What if
Anyway, I think a good nights sleep should help.
Today, I went to the doctors for my little check-up and he "stripped my membrane" and said to come on in if I had any sort of consistent contractions. I love my doctor and our family has developed a good relationship with him over the years. I would love for him to deliver our daughter but he can only do that when he's on call. He gets off at 8am tomorrow and it doesn't look like any consistent contractions are starting. Uhg. Fine if we have the kid a week later with our doc, but the little kiddo will probably come in the next couple of days, during Jaret's Denver trip, or just after the doc gets off tomorrow morning and we'll be stuck with some doctor that doesn't care about any of us.
What if Brooklyn does come tonight, though? I don't know who we'll have watch her. I don't know where she'll stay while I'm at the hospital. We have friends that are totally willing to take her, but I don't like the idea of taking advantage of them or overusing or overwhelming them.
I don't know if things will go as smoothly as they did with Holland. I don't know who my friend can find to watch her daughter that I'm supposed to look after tomorrow. What if I the no sweets diet I'm going on after Brooklyn is born is extra extra hard and I resent the fact that I just bought one last box of Oreos to enjoy but could only eat one because my appetite stinks right now. I'll have to give the whole thing away along with all the yummy ice cream in the freezer.
If the kid does come tonight, who's going to fill in for me at church? Am I going to be so exhausted all the time that I'm constantly upset with Holland? I sure am having a hard time dealing with her whining and clinging and lack of eating. All she wants is sweets. I can't blame her, I feel the same way!
The kids aside, what about the job and the doe? What if Jaret doesn't get any of these jobs he's interviewing for? What if he DOES get one or more and we have to move? What if
Anyway, I think a good nights sleep should help.
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