Ya know the term, "All or Nothing"? Welp, shockingly enough, I've decided I don't agree with it. I would rather it be, "All"...really meaning, "Do your best with the right intentions". I was just plopped on the couch with my crackers and cheese munching away while I was watching....you guessed it, The Biggest Loser.
Everyone loves Bob and he made a comment a few weeks back that has stuck with me. Bob predicted that one of the current contestants would gain all of his weight back. The funny thing is that so far this man has lost the most weight on campus of anyone else and tied the record for fastest to lose 100lbs. Since Bob made that statement a few episodes ago I've been watching this man. He's a competitor. He says things like, "I will never be this way again.". I see him playing "the game" in every decision he makes on the show. Who knows if Bob will be right, but I just realized how much I have been like this man. I sure do like a good fight. Especially if I feel like it's a challenge and I have a chance.
There's a problem with being so focused on being competitive, though. I remember when I came home from my mission going on four years ago. I would hear about other returned missionaries and companions who were struggling to read their scriptures. "Uh uh. Not me. I'm going to stay faithful because I know how important it is to read my scriptures." "I'm going to be on time to church because I know what an important meeting it is." That lasted a couple of months. Same with my workouts after I finished my basketball career. I did great running every day and then it faded away.
You would think that knowing the importance of something would be enough to motivate action. But we've seen countless numbers of people who smoke and know that it could result in cancer. People who eat more then they burn gain weight. In contrast, people who burn more calories then they eat lose weight.... So, why isn't knowing enough to make us change? I don't know it all but this quote makes sense; "The study of true doctrine will change behavior quicker then the study of behavior will change behavior". I have yet to really know if this were true....because remember, I don't read my scriptures.
I've been reading tons of books (two is tons) and realizing that I need to be more positive, more structured, more loving, more patient, and the list goes on. Just knowing that, however, has not produced any miraculous changes. Maybe I should try the doctrine thing....but just knowing that reading my scriptures is going to motivate and uplift me doesn't necessarily make it easy or easier to do. This can be really daunting. Falling short is no happy spring picnic. That's where that statement comes back to haunt me, "all or nothing". Welp, I would sure be doing a heck of a lot of nothing if I made that my motto.
So, I don't want to be like John or (what I like to think) "the old Hillary" and only be motivated by competition. Don't get me wrong, I like to compete and be the best I can be but I don't like always trying to "keep up with the Jones'". I figure that if I'm not perfect then I should at least try to make steps toward it. My intentions for being good at something or even everything should be because I want to be the best I can be, not be better then everyone else. It turns out that there's really no lasting satisfaction in that anyway. So, as a reminder to myself to help me be happy and find lasting satisfaction - be happy with progress. "If you fall on your face at least you're moving forward". I'm not trying to be a bad person so cut yourself a break. Can I work harder and do better? Yes, but it will come a step at a time. The most rewarding thing I can see about myself right now is that I like the person I am now a lot better then the girl of the past. I may have let a lot of measurable things slide that I can recommit myself to do but I will trade that for the new and improved more loving, caring, and forgiving heart...maybe someday I'll have the best of both worlds. One day, one hour, one minute at a time.
Everyone loves Bob and he made a comment a few weeks back that has stuck with me. Bob predicted that one of the current contestants would gain all of his weight back. The funny thing is that so far this man has lost the most weight on campus of anyone else and tied the record for fastest to lose 100lbs. Since Bob made that statement a few episodes ago I've been watching this man. He's a competitor. He says things like, "I will never be this way again.". I see him playing "the game" in every decision he makes on the show. Who knows if Bob will be right, but I just realized how much I have been like this man. I sure do like a good fight. Especially if I feel like it's a challenge and I have a chance.
There's a problem with being so focused on being competitive, though. I remember when I came home from my mission going on four years ago. I would hear about other returned missionaries and companions who were struggling to read their scriptures. "Uh uh. Not me. I'm going to stay faithful because I know how important it is to read my scriptures." "I'm going to be on time to church because I know what an important meeting it is." That lasted a couple of months. Same with my workouts after I finished my basketball career. I did great running every day and then it faded away.
You would think that knowing the importance of something would be enough to motivate action. But we've seen countless numbers of people who smoke and know that it could result in cancer. People who eat more then they burn gain weight. In contrast, people who burn more calories then they eat lose weight.... So, why isn't knowing enough to make us change? I don't know it all but this quote makes sense; "The study of true doctrine will change behavior quicker then the study of behavior will change behavior". I have yet to really know if this were true....because remember, I don't read my scriptures.
I've been reading tons of books (two is tons) and realizing that I need to be more positive, more structured, more loving, more patient, and the list goes on. Just knowing that, however, has not produced any miraculous changes. Maybe I should try the doctrine thing....but just knowing that reading my scriptures is going to motivate and uplift me doesn't necessarily make it easy or easier to do. This can be really daunting. Falling short is no happy spring picnic. That's where that statement comes back to haunt me, "all or nothing". Welp, I would sure be doing a heck of a lot of nothing if I made that my motto.
So, I don't want to be like John or (what I like to think) "the old Hillary" and only be motivated by competition. Don't get me wrong, I like to compete and be the best I can be but I don't like always trying to "keep up with the Jones'". I figure that if I'm not perfect then I should at least try to make steps toward it. My intentions for being good at something or even everything should be because I want to be the best I can be, not be better then everyone else. It turns out that there's really no lasting satisfaction in that anyway. So, as a reminder to myself to help me be happy and find lasting satisfaction - be happy with progress. "If you fall on your face at least you're moving forward". I'm not trying to be a bad person so cut yourself a break. Can I work harder and do better? Yes, but it will come a step at a time. The most rewarding thing I can see about myself right now is that I like the person I am now a lot better then the girl of the past. I may have let a lot of measurable things slide that I can recommit myself to do but I will trade that for the new and improved more loving, caring, and forgiving heart...maybe someday I'll have the best of both worlds. One day, one hour, one minute at a time.
1 comment:
Amen.
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