http://www.stgeorgeutah.com/news/archive/2011/10/20/%E2%80%98fitting-in%E2%80%99-as-a-non-mormon-in-utah/
I just read this article about what it's like for a lot of people to live around the Mormon faith in Utah but not be a part of it. I grew up in Utah and can relate to it as a "Mormon". As I read through this article It got me thinking about my own preferences and comfort-abilities. I remember I was very open to being friends with people not of our faith but didn't really know how without feeling the pressure of having to "convert" them. I had some friends on my basketball team that I hung out with, but this pressure got in the way of our friendship.
I thought I would always live in that desert but a couple of years after high school I found myself in a smaller town and a whole new culture. I wasn't recruited hard to any of the Utah universities, I was recruited to play basketball at Montana State University. During the recruiting process my mom told the MSU coach that she thought I would end up in Montana. I was mad at her for it. Mom's know everything.
I pretty much despised my first year at MSU. It was hard to be so far away from family and I wasn't comfortable in this new culture and I didn't like my coach. The church part was good. It was great actually...and that's what kept me going.
It was no surprise that my first year in Bozeman would be hard. But what I wasn't ready for was what was to come.
My second year things started to turn around. My friendships within the church were solidifying and I was enjoying where I was in life. By the time I was finishing up school I had a boyfriend I was head over heals for, awesome friends, and a happiness and joy I had never experienced before. I was at the top of my game. I couldn't have asked for a better time in my life. At that time all of my close friends were LDS.
A few years later I was married, had served a mission and was expecting my first child. I was starting to make friends since I returned from my mission but once again they were all LDS and I still had that feeling. I felt like all of my interactions with people outside of my faith were tainted by that guilty feeling that I had to convert them. I didn't really know how to interact with and connect with friends not of my faith. My mission helped, but I would say that my friend, Beth, was the turning point for me.
Jaret was actually the one to introduce us. We were neighbors and both expecting our first child. We started to chat about what we had in common...our pregnancy. It was nice to have common ground and something to talk about. I was still awkward, though. But over time I started to open up.
Our little girls are now well past two and I just love and adore Beth. She's such an open person but most of all a great friend. I'm friends with her because she's a great example to me. She is a good person and makes me want to be better. Most of all, I'm friends with her because I enjoy spending time with her. I don't judge her for not being a "Mormon" and as far as I know she doesn't judge me for being one. I feel accepted and loved for who I am. I love that about Beth. Do I ever talk about religion with her? A little bit. I share some of the things I'm excited about from church and other things I'm struggling with. She's open and listens. The difference is that I don't feel like I have to convert her.
My friendship with Beth has given me the confidence to open up and be friends with anyone I meet without regard to religion. True, many of my friends are LDS, but it has started to balance out. I have many influential and close friends both in and out of the LDS church.
I guess the reason I am even writing about is because as I was reading this article I realized that I was there at some point and I've seen some change. I love this new freedom. Undoubtedly, there are some who don't understand why I could have ever been uncomfortable with befriending someone outside of my faith. It's sad, but true. I didn't know any better before. I love not having to worry what religion someone is when I meet them.
So, I guess what I have to say is thank you Montana. Living here has made me a more open and a better person. I love it!
I just read this article about what it's like for a lot of people to live around the Mormon faith in Utah but not be a part of it. I grew up in Utah and can relate to it as a "Mormon". As I read through this article It got me thinking about my own preferences and comfort-abilities. I remember I was very open to being friends with people not of our faith but didn't really know how without feeling the pressure of having to "convert" them. I had some friends on my basketball team that I hung out with, but this pressure got in the way of our friendship.
I thought I would always live in that desert but a couple of years after high school I found myself in a smaller town and a whole new culture. I wasn't recruited hard to any of the Utah universities, I was recruited to play basketball at Montana State University. During the recruiting process my mom told the MSU coach that she thought I would end up in Montana. I was mad at her for it. Mom's know everything.
I pretty much despised my first year at MSU. It was hard to be so far away from family and I wasn't comfortable in this new culture and I didn't like my coach. The church part was good. It was great actually...and that's what kept me going.
It was no surprise that my first year in Bozeman would be hard. But what I wasn't ready for was what was to come.
My second year things started to turn around. My friendships within the church were solidifying and I was enjoying where I was in life. By the time I was finishing up school I had a boyfriend I was head over heals for, awesome friends, and a happiness and joy I had never experienced before. I was at the top of my game. I couldn't have asked for a better time in my life. At that time all of my close friends were LDS.
A few years later I was married, had served a mission and was expecting my first child. I was starting to make friends since I returned from my mission but once again they were all LDS and I still had that feeling. I felt like all of my interactions with people outside of my faith were tainted by that guilty feeling that I had to convert them. I didn't really know how to interact with and connect with friends not of my faith. My mission helped, but I would say that my friend, Beth, was the turning point for me.
Jaret was actually the one to introduce us. We were neighbors and both expecting our first child. We started to chat about what we had in common...our pregnancy. It was nice to have common ground and something to talk about. I was still awkward, though. But over time I started to open up.
Our little girls are now well past two and I just love and adore Beth. She's such an open person but most of all a great friend. I'm friends with her because she's a great example to me. She is a good person and makes me want to be better. Most of all, I'm friends with her because I enjoy spending time with her. I don't judge her for not being a "Mormon" and as far as I know she doesn't judge me for being one. I feel accepted and loved for who I am. I love that about Beth. Do I ever talk about religion with her? A little bit. I share some of the things I'm excited about from church and other things I'm struggling with. She's open and listens. The difference is that I don't feel like I have to convert her.
My friendship with Beth has given me the confidence to open up and be friends with anyone I meet without regard to religion. True, many of my friends are LDS, but it has started to balance out. I have many influential and close friends both in and out of the LDS church.
I guess the reason I am even writing about is because as I was reading this article I realized that I was there at some point and I've seen some change. I love this new freedom. Undoubtedly, there are some who don't understand why I could have ever been uncomfortable with befriending someone outside of my faith. It's sad, but true. I didn't know any better before. I love not having to worry what religion someone is when I meet them.
So, I guess what I have to say is thank you Montana. Living here has made me a more open and a better person. I love it!
2 comments:
That's how I feel living in Texas. On our cul-de-sac we have 2 muslim families, 1 hindu, 1 methodist, 1 catholic, and of course....1 mormon family-US. There are soooo many good people in the world. Most of the time, our job is to be an EXAMPLE of what we believe. Everyone here knows we are mormon and I know they watch us. I also know they completely respect our beliefs and have no problem accepting our differences. I am still asked to come over for coffee, have an evening margarita, come over for poker night, come with us to see this (R rated) movie, etc. Sometimes I feel bad explaining why the answer is no, because the last thing I want to do is make someone else feel like I think I'm better then them because we don't do those things. I love all the diversity and different cultures and am really enjoying living in the coolest state in the U.S. ;)
Coolest State Holly I don't know it might be big but Utah is sill pretty cool!
I am some times envious of the both of you. I have always wanted to live at least one year of my life out side of Utah for just that reason. I wanted to experiance something new but I guess we go were we are guided to go and if I had chosen to go to college out side of UT I would most likly not have meet and married my sweet huband.
I used to feel the way you did as well Hillary but that was back in High School. I think now I am alright with others not of our faith. I have 3 families that live right next to me of whom are all good people and not "Morman". I just choose to be friendly and kind and to leave my belifs out of it because chances are that they already know where I stand. I can honestly say that I feel love and compation for the ladies that live next door to me who have chosen to be partners even though I don't understand there resoning. and the lady who lives just to the east of me is so sweet but I think she refuses to give me a chance because of a man I know with a badge might take her to jail for drug use. I feel love, compation but also sorrow for them because I want them to be happy! I want them to know what I know and feel what I feel but I think that the pressure that one feel to convert is deciving. I can't say for sure if it is from God because I think the Lord will guide us to bear our testimonies when the time is right but Satan will push us to force and jump the gun when we know they are not ready.
I think Holly is right that being and example is the best way to start. It's just like being wealthy and trying to make friends you may not know if people are after your money or your friendship but if you are a friend to them even after they go broke they know you are a true friend.
I guess we just have to wait tell everyone goes spiritualy broke to to show them we love them and to bring them "the good news" of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Love ya
Britt
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