The Laurence Family

Update

2012-02-07T15:02:00.000-07:00

Welp, here's my boring update. Hey, I'm finally writing something. Back off!

After hours...and hours...and hours of shredding foam we finished shredding our big, thick rolls into coin sized pieces. I got 12 bags of batting on sale at JoAnnes for 90% off. Yes please. It cost me like seven bucks. So, between the batting and trillions of little foam pieces our bag is now.....half full. We'll have to wait for some more foam to come up, but for the mean time we're making good use of our bag as a lounger and even a blanket. I'm likin' it. I will like it even more when it's full ;)

Jaret and I are loving our house. We're also loving that we get to grow old in it together ;) We're slowing completing our small projects. So far we've put up coat hooks in the closet and laundry/mud room. Jaret's built himself a work bench in the garage out of scrap lumber we claimed before it was thrown out or burned. We got a whole bunch of 2x4's by cutting up around seven over-ordered trusses. It will hopefully help in the building of our shed. We still have plans to put the shelf we painted up in our laundry room with a place to hang clothes (I'm super excited about it), we're going to build a bookshelf in our bedroom, and I'm still unpacking. Unpacking takes FOREVER! Especially because I'm lazy and don't take to do it.

We've finally resorted to a chore chart. Hope it works. Our house can get pretty messy.

Jaret and I are trying to get into our new callings in cub scouts. He's a Webelos Den Leader and I am a Cub Master....of knowing nothing. Actually, there have been plenty of people who have gone out of there way to help inform me of my duties. We just finished up with the Pinewood Derby and are now in the process of preparing for the Blue & Gold Banquet. I guess it's supposed to be a huge shindig. Nothing like jumping in with both feel. It looks like everyone has a lot of fun in scouts.

I'm bored with this so I'm sure that if anyone else has gotten to this point (congratulations) is to. I'm going to stop.

...oh, last thing. Jaret and I watched Contagiam yesterday. It seems like all of my friends are getting really sick...should we quarantine ourselves? Is the world ending?

Life Long Dream Being Fulfilled

2012-01-18T13:58:00.000-07:00

When people talk about their life long dreams it is often times concerning going somewhere exotic or climbing a big mountain or building their dream house. Some of those are on my list but this one is a bit of an eyebrow raiser. I've always wanted to make my own luvsac! I got some free foam we're been chipping away at and I actually cheated and order the actual luvsac brand bag to put our foam in. It arrived today and we have a lot more chipping to do and we need a lot more foam....but I'm so excited and Holland already loves it!

Holla and Brooky with the rolls of foam.

Jaret Chipping away. I actually cut hours and hours worth with scissors and Jaret discovered that it was a lot easier to just tear it with our hands. Figures.

We decided we needed to have a foam fight. So, we tore apart large pieces and divided them in boxes.

We had some friends over and Jaret's "Little Brother", Jason and had our little war. It was a lot of fun for all ages. The foam is so soft that it didn't even effect Brooklyn. Even Holland loved it. We had a lot of fun!

Here's our new luvsac! As you can see we've got our work cut out for us. The bag already has the large and small pieces we've chipped. Here we go! Yay!

Some Mom's Never Learn.

2012-01-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

Just as I'm sitting down to feed Brooklyn Holland hands her her sucker. Brooklyn loved it and I took it away with an attempt to replace it with the squash I originally intended to shove in her mouth. Brooklyn went ballistic and her weak sauce mother caved and returned the sucker to the salivating noise hole. So, I decided to use this time to fix my internet (it worked as you can see) but when I returned my ever so helpful two year old was "helping feed" her sister. Squash was all over. Will I ever learn to put things away before they become impossible to clean up?

Projects

2012-01-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

As all new home owners know - You buy the home then spend all of your time and money creating the things that didn't come with it. So, Jaret and I have dreamed up all sorts of projects that will consume our lives. The most recent project is actually something I have always wanted or wanted to do...build a lovesac! I was super lucky to find some free foam we can chip into chunks and it's super high quality. A mattress company was getting rid of it. So, we invested in a love sac cover because the cost of it and buying my own fabric are close enough.

I started cutting the foam up last night. It is going to take FOREVER!!! It will be worth it though :) I'm so excited!

Cuss Words

2012-01-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! This probably funnier to me but I got a kick out of it.

So, Holland got into the freezer and found some homemade cookies I had frozen. I told her she needed to finish her breakfast before she had any. She tried to sneak off into my bedroom with the cookies. Being very proactive about keeping our new carpet nice I followed. I guess I startled her as she stashed the cookies in my night stand. "Holland, what do I expect?" Usually she will tell me what I want to hear but instead she gave me a deep scowl and said, "No F***!". I couldn't stop laughing. I know she was trying to say "No expect!" but it was so clearly the F word that all I could do was laugh. "Mom, you love me?" "Yes, I love you Holland".

House

2011-12-21T21:27:00.001-07:00

After a lot of work on the siding we are happy to announce that it is complete. Jaret spent lots of hours working on it in his spare time and the rest of us (friends and I) helped when we could. Here are a few pictures of the outside of the house! The house is basically gray with white trim and spice berry peaks.

Our walk through is scheduled for tomorrow...that means the house is pretty much done! Yay!

Can anyone tell me what I'm doing?

2011-12-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I feel like I have no clue about what I'm doing with my life right now. We've got ourselves so deeply into life right now that it can be so overwhelming. I just caught myself thinking, "is this the right thing to do? Welp, it doesn't really matter because it's too late now". That's actually the second time today that I asked that same question to myself for different but very important decisions. (I gave myself the same answer for the first question as well. Don't worry, I wasn't talking out-loud). I guess I don't feel like the decisions I've/we've made are wrong so much as they are risky. The stakes keep getting higher. When I think about making an important decision I will sometimes think for a split second that it would be nice if the right answer was obvious. Then I come to my senses and remember how much I love the spontaneity of life. It keeps life interesting. I just wish I could be interested without anxiety.

It's getting closer!

2011-12-09T15:04:00.001-07:00

Last night, Jaret and I set up a few lights and tried to make some good progress on siding the house. I think it was successful!...The progress that is. I had to leave a little early to put the kids to bed (thanks to my dear friend Amanda for taking the kiddos once again) but by the time Jaret left the house he had pretty much all of the siding on the house. We still need to do fasia, some painting and put the sofets up but it is really coming along.

I stopped by the house today and was so excited to see how much has been accomplished on the inside! We've got our flooring in for our kitchen, laundry room, and bathrooms! The paint is done z9I must add that I like the color...luckily. Ya never really know until it's on the walls) and our builder picked the light fixtures up yesterday and already has most of them up! It's getting closer....

More good news. We found out that we get stone on our fireplace! Yay! I am so super excited for our new house!

Colds

2011-12-08T15:04:00.001-07:00

For some reason I find it amusing that all four of us - Jaret, Hillary, Holland & Brooklyn - have colds at the same time. Let's just say that our house is filled with musical. We're featuring blow horns, sniff horns, snort horns, and whine horns. Music to our ears.

Since the Mission

2011-12-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

On December 20th it will have been four years since I returned from my mission. I can hardly believe how quickly time has passed and what has happened in my life since then. It is also a surprise to see how much I've changed since then and realize that I am now looking back to that time as history rather then what happened before I left. My mission memories are so fresh yet so distant.

Over these last four years I've found myself having a love hate relationship with the memories of that eighteen months and what it resulted in. As I was chatting with my sister, Holly, on my recent vacation it gave me time to stir up a lot of those memories and analyse everything up to this point. I was shocked to hear from Holly about how worried she was for me when I returned.

My dear sweet sister surprised me by flying in soon after I returned from the Netherlands. We all hung out a little bit for the holidays (if I remember everything correctly) and I didn't want to watch any movies, I didn't laugh much, I was distant and I was very confused. I didn't know who I should be. Was I the old crazy, loony Hillary or the new serious and spiritual Hillary. I remember thinking, "Wow, I wasted so much time watching movies before my mission. How embarrassing". I think I watch a heck of a lot more stuff now then I did before I mission. Ironic.

Anyway, Holly told me she was concerned about me because I was so different and seemed lost. This recently acquired information came as a shock to me. I didn't know she felt that way. I've always known that transitioning back into the world after a mission is a challenge. It's a whole different ball game being the one doing it. I am still trying to figure out who am I, what I want to be, how I want to act and what feels appropriate. I even found myself trying to figure out what kind of person I was on the way to my friends ornament party. Am I the Hillary of the past who has to draw attention to herself? Or, perhaps, the person who is content to sit in the background and just enjoy being there? Am I the selfless conversationalist that is sure to keep the focus on the other person to make them feel cared about or am I going to go off on all that is going on in my life? We played a game where a couple of dice were passed around a circle and if you rolled doubles you got to throw a hat, gloves and scarf on and tear into some gifts until someone took the apparel from you after rolling doubles. Pre-mission me would have thought of the most entertaining way to get dress myself and get those babies open. Post mission me actually walked up and quietly and timidly took the hat off of the person I was replacing. Luckily I was quickly booted and didn't have to worry about getting the rest on.

Why do any of us worry or care about what others think? That is a question that will never cease to be asked. I do know, though, that I was able to really put those guards down for a few days with my sisters and it felt good. I got to see some pre-mission crazy girl mixed with post mission wisdom. It felt good and balanced. Just how I like it.

So, though I have felt some resentment toward my mission for "taking my personality away", I think that a good balance is slowly emerging I am still interested in finding ways to break out of my monotonous shell but I do like who I am becoming and I appreciate the changes for the most part. Overall, I feel like my mission was essential for two reasons: I gained true and undeniable testimony of many doctrines of our church and it stripped me down to almost the bare bones to help me rebuild on a newer and less flawed foundation. Child rearing has continued the refining and stripping...yeah, it's even harder then my mission...but I'm learning to love it too. I'm just hoping that the stripping will slow down and that I'll get to see a little more building in the future. I have a funny feeling it doesn't really work that way.

Staying up late

2011-12-04T01:11:00.000-07:00

Do you ever stay up late enough where you start to dread going to bed because you know you're going to wake up tired? So you stay up ridiculously late just because it will supposedly put the misery off when really it's just adding to it. Anyone do that? That's me right now. It's 1am. I have to play the piano for Ward Choir, play the piano for Primary and do singing time for Nursery. We'll see how it goes with the lids on my eyes half open.

Thank Heaven for Sisters!

2011-12-02T22:11:00.003-07:00

So, my fun little trip to Houston has come and is long gone. But not the memories! I have to say that my trip to Texas was one of the funnest I've ever had. Let's just say that if anyone had the opportunity to follow us around and observe they would have either been extremely embarrassed for us or utterly amused. We played cards, went to Kemah Boardwalk, ate out at the Airplane restaurant, watched a scary movie in the woods, went to the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn, went to the zoo, laughed like hyenas, cried like babies, and...oh, we relaxed. We had a blast!

One day, Holly and I played Hand and Foot (card game) for seven hours straight...may I add what a good little baby I have? I love you Brooky! (Disclaimer: She was not neglected. I fed her, put her down for naps and she was plenty entertained by her cousins, uncle and all that was around her.)

The day after Merry's late night arrival we headed off for Kemah Boardwalk. This was probably the most fun of it. My sisters roped me into getting an all day ride pass, which is something I would have not done on my own. I have no interest in facing fears, throwing up, or facing death but because I also have no interest in being the party pooper I quietly bought my ticket dreading what was about to happen. Our first ride was fine. It was the Mari-go-round. I actually enjoyed watching Holly squirm when the ride operator told her she had to get on an animal and buckle her seat belt. Ha ha! It was the next one that knocked my block off. We got on this fast spinning flying saucer that took off plenty fast enough, reversed it's spin and that's when they...pushed the red button. That sucker was going so fast that Merry couldn't help but squish me, I couldn't hold my neck up and I couldn't keep the drool and eye water from streaming across my face. Yes, I said drool. I laid my head down on my shoulder ready to die and the lines were drawn from my mouth and eyes. Holly sure got a kick out of watching it. We must have been momentarily translated because when Merry and I came to and fell out of the ride we were rolling on the ground. All of this is literal for those who are reading. I have no doubts that observers were convinced that we had been drinking, but cup of sister has not yet been invented. Merry and I couldn't walk. All we could do is laugh in a heap on the ground. This is the part where you would be running or filming.

We went on a few more rides and acted like you know what's and finally took a break. Why? BECAUSE MY SHIRT KEPT ON COMING UNBUTTONED!!! Not just a button or two. Try four or five in the middle of eating, walking, and rides. I warned Holly before the day started that she needed to warn me if my shirt came unbuttoned and she decided to come up with a signal. It was very discrete. I can't even explain it. It was like a bird bursting out of her shirt and blowing up. So, we went to the gift shops and Merry bought me a shirt out of embarrassment. We took pictures of us surrounded with pillows that looked like candy. Ate ice cream and were returned to making ourselves miserable.

Now. Merry. I still don't understand it, but I'm proud of her. We went on a ride that slowly took us up and without warning dropped us. I hopped on continuing to submit to peer pressure, but I was fine to go on the ride once. So, started going up. I was doing ok. Soon I heard some whimpering. This whimpering quickly escalated to screaming. Then, a horrifying screeching. If I wasn't scared before the ride I was certainly horrified now. I really thought that Merry was going to need to talk to a psychologist due to going on this ride. I've never seen anyone so scared. So, she freaks out, we drop, it's scary and I'm glad it's over. I turn to Merry to ask her if she's alright and she asks the ride operator if we can go again!!! "What?! You were being tortured! You almost died! You were going to be a squished bug and you wanna go again?!?!" She said she wanted to face her fears and if she got off she would never go again. And up we went. Did the screaming calm down a on the second time up? No, it was worse. I was getting more scared with every ride. After we went on this terrorist machine, not even three or four times but EIGHT TIMES, I was done. I couldn't handle it any more. By the eighth time Merry was impressively gaining more and more composure but I was so terrified I couldn't give into the peer pressure anymore. I had tried pushing my hands up into the seat, wrapping my legs around the bottom of the seat, closing my eyes, and whatever else I could think of but it didn't get easier for me. So, I got off and took pictures and video of my two crazy sisters who went a total of TEN TIMES. Whatever. I don't get it.

In spite of my lack of enthusiasm for riding rides I have to admit that it ended up being the most fun I've had in a long time.

Breaking Dawn was fun. We watched all of the Twilight movies during the day and Holly and Merry made our stellar T-Shirts just in time for the midnight showing. The front of the shirt featured some vampire fangs with the words "Bite Me" written under them and on the back we had "I am Switzerland" stenciled along with all of the names of everyone who went in our little group. We put the vampire and werewolf crests on opposite sleeves representing our "support" of both species.

Enough about shirts. There are more alarming experiences to share...like getting hit by trucks. Yes, you could technically say that I got hit by a truck. We were walking into the movie theater and we started walking around the back of a truck that was waiting for a parking space when suddenly he gunned it backward. Holly jumped forward out of the way but it was too late for me. I did get a chance to jump so that my hands hit the truck saving the brunt of it from hitting my legs or body. I could have been road kill. The driver slowed down so I could get out of the way but he never really stopped. Huh.

About Breaking Dawn. I enjoyed all but the never ending honeymoon and birth...which was over half of the movie.

I don't know how they got me to do it but I watched a scary movie, THEN I watched a scary movie in the WOODS. I don't like scary anything. I despise the feeling of being scared. I have a creative enough mind to scare myself without getting help from the outside world. Once again, though, even though I would never choose to do these things on my own, I had a good time.

Merry had to return home to Utah leaving me alone with Holly and the fam. in Houston. It worked out perfectly because I used the time to finally read through "Parenting with Love". I love the book. I have a lot to work on but I'm up for the challenge. I don't expect perfection, though I sure wish it would come. But, I'm enjoying the results of what I've already applied and it helps me enjoy my role as a mother much more then I previously did. I pretty much love the book and will always keep it as my parenting manual.

I loved spending time with my sisters and being a dork. I can be as much of a nut job as I want and know that my sisters will continue to put up with me. That's always nice. We share very similar struggles and are refreshed by feeling understood. I love all of my sisters and I am so glad to have been blessed with such fun and great examples to share my life with. Now and forever.

Thanks for the good time Holly and Merry. As for you other two, I look forward to more of ours together as well!

Me Fireman Mom.

2011-12-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

Earlier this afternoon Holland put my black baseball cap on and came up to me.

Holland: "Me Fireman Mom."
Mom: "Oh, If our house catches on fire will you save us?"
Holland: "Yeah."
As she's walking away: "No worries."

I thought it was super cute.

You've got to be kidding me!

2011-12-01T23:52:00.000-07:00

Look at the surprise I found after Hollands nap!

That's not chocolate either.

Heaven help me.

All or Nothing

2011-12-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

Ya know the term, "All or Nothing"? Welp, shockingly enough, I've decided I don't agree with it. I would rather it be, "All"...really meaning, "Do your best with the right intentions". I was just plopped on the couch with my crackers and cheese munching away while I was watching....you guessed it, The Biggest Loser.

Everyone loves Bob and he made a comment a few weeks back that has stuck with me. Bob predicted that one of the current contestants would gain all of his weight back. The funny thing is that so far this man has lost the most weight on campus of anyone else and tied the record for fastest to lose 100lbs. Since Bob made that statement a few episodes ago I've been watching this man. He's a competitor. He says things like, "I will never be this way again.". I see him playing "the game" in every decision he makes on the show. Who knows if Bob will be right, but I just realized how much I have been like this man. I sure do like a good fight. Especially if I feel like it's a challenge and I have a chance.

There's a problem with being so focused on being competitive, though. I remember when I came home from my mission going on four years ago. I would hear about other returned missionaries and companions who were struggling to read their scriptures. "Uh uh. Not me. I'm going to stay faithful because I know how important it is to read my scriptures." "I'm going to be on time to church because I know what an important meeting it is." That lasted a couple of months. Same with my workouts after I finished my basketball career. I did great running every day and then it faded away.

You would think that knowing the importance of something would be enough to motivate action. But we've seen countless numbers of people who smoke and know that it could result in cancer. People who eat more then they burn gain weight. In contrast, people who burn more calories then they eat lose weight.... So, why isn't knowing enough to make us change? I don't know it all but this quote makes sense; "The study of true doctrine will change behavior quicker then the study of behavior will change behavior". I have yet to really know if this were true....because remember, I don't read my scriptures.

I've been reading tons of books (two is tons) and realizing that I need to be more positive, more structured, more loving, more patient, and the list goes on. Just knowing that, however, has not produced any miraculous changes. Maybe I should try the doctrine thing....but just knowing that reading my scriptures is going to motivate and uplift me doesn't necessarily make it easy or easier to do. This can be really daunting. Falling short is no happy spring picnic. That's where that statement comes back to haunt me, "all or nothing". Welp, I would sure be doing a heck of a lot of nothing if I made that my motto.

So, I don't want to be like John or (what I like to think) "the old Hillary" and only be motivated by competition. Don't get me wrong, I like to compete and be the best I can be but I don't like always trying to "keep up with the Jones'". I figure that if I'm not perfect then I should at least try to make steps toward it. My intentions for being good at something or even everything should be because I want to be the best I can be, not be better then everyone else. It turns out that there's really no lasting satisfaction in that anyway. So, as a reminder to myself to help me be happy and find lasting satisfaction - be happy with progress. "If you fall on your face at least you're moving forward". I'm not trying to be a bad person so cut yourself a break. Can I work harder and do better? Yes, but it will come a step at a time. The most rewarding thing I can see about myself right now is that I like the person I am now a lot better then the girl of the past. I may have let a lot of measurable things slide that I can recommit myself to do but I will trade that for the new and improved more loving, caring, and forgiving heart...maybe someday I'll have the best of both worlds. One day, one hour, one minute at a time.

Something Fun About Two

2011-11-11T23:01:00.000-07:00

As I was putting Holland to bed tonight I tried to explain that I would be gone for a while and that she was going to get to hang out with her dad and play with her friend Annie a lot. She was very excited...about being able to play with her friend. She has also quickly learned the meaning of "party". When I told her she would get to go to Annie's Birthday Party when she woke up she started jumping up and down, '"Yay! Yay! Ha ha ha. Yay!". It was adorable. It's been really fun to get to see her excited about things. I wish I would do that. These days if I'm really excited about something I raise my eyebrows and say, "I am really excited." How boring I've become.

So, I guess I should say thanks to Holland for bringing excitement to our home. :)

By the way, I'm really excited to go see my sister in Texas! (My eyebrows are raised).

So excited!

2011-11-10T22:27:00.000-07:00

My husband is so good to me. After coming home to a crazy wife a couple of weeks ago he decided that I didn't have a choice and that I had to go visit my sister to take a bit of a break. I'm so excited to go to Texas in like 36 hours! Whew! I may even be taking my first cab. I just called the Billings Cab companies and they are over $20 to go three miles. But hey, it's better then walking with a baby and a couple of bags. I'm interested to see how little Brookly does on the airplane. Saturday will be a long day but I'm stoked!

What else is there to be excited about? How about a new house! We all drove by today as a fam with the full moon a blazin' and I almost didn't recognize the scene. We have sticks with a roof! Yay! It finally feels real! I can't believe we are going to get to live there! I am pleasantly surprised to see that many things are bigger then I anticipated- The windows are huge, we have a large closet in the front room, and...we have a sliding glass door! I thought we would have a normal solid door to our backyard with no window and instead....hello light! Yay!

I'm so lucky! Thanks Jaret! I love you!

"Fitting in as a Mormon in Utah"

2011-10-25T11:04:00.000-06:00

http://www.stgeorgeutah.com/news/archive/2011/10/20/%E2%80%98fitting-in%E2%80%99-as-a-non-mormon-in-utah/

I just read this article about what it's like for a lot of people to live around the Mormon faith in Utah but not be a part of it. I grew up in Utah and can relate to it as a "Mormon". As I read through this article It got me thinking about my own preferences and comfort-abilities. I remember I was very open to being friends with people not of our faith but didn't really know how without feeling the pressure of having to "convert" them. I had some friends on my basketball team that I hung out with, but this pressure got in the way of our friendship.

I thought I would always live in that desert but a couple of years after high school I found myself in a smaller town and a whole new culture. I wasn't recruited hard to any of the Utah universities, I was recruited to play basketball at Montana State University. During the recruiting process my mom told the MSU coach that she thought I would end up in Montana. I was mad at her for it. Mom's know everything.

I pretty much despised my first year at MSU. It was hard to be so far away from family and I wasn't comfortable in this new culture and I didn't like my coach. The church part was good. It was great actually...and that's what kept me going.

It was no surprise that my first year in Bozeman would be hard. But what I wasn't ready for was what was to come.

My second year things started to turn around. My friendships within the church were solidifying and I was enjoying where I was in life. By the time I was finishing up school I had a boyfriend I was head over heals for, awesome friends, and a happiness and joy I had never experienced before. I was at the top of my game. I couldn't have asked for a better time in my life. At that time all of my close friends were LDS.

A few years later I was married, had served a mission and was expecting my first child. I was starting to make friends since I returned from my mission but once again they were all LDS and I still had that feeling. I felt like all of my interactions with people outside of my faith were tainted by that guilty feeling that I had to convert them. I didn't really know how to interact with and connect with friends not of my faith. My mission helped, but I would say that my friend, Beth, was the turning point for me.

Jaret was actually the one to introduce us. We were neighbors and both expecting our first child. We started to chat about what we had in common...our pregnancy. It was nice to have common ground and something to talk about. I was still awkward, though. But over time I started to open up.

Our little girls are now well past two and I just love and adore Beth. She's such an open person but most of all a great friend. I'm friends with her because she's a great example to me. She is a good person and makes me want to be better. Most of all, I'm friends with her because I enjoy spending time with her. I don't judge her for not being a "Mormon" and as far as I know she doesn't judge me for being one. I feel accepted and loved for who I am. I love that about Beth. Do I ever talk about religion with her? A little bit. I share some of the things I'm excited about from church and other things I'm struggling with. She's open and listens. The difference is that I don't feel like I have to convert her.

My friendship with Beth has given me the confidence to open up and be friends with anyone I meet without regard to religion. True, many of my friends are LDS, but it has started to balance out. I have many influential and close friends both in and out of the LDS church.

I guess the reason I am even writing about is because as I was reading this article I realized that I was there at some point and I've seen some change. I love this new freedom. Undoubtedly, there are some who don't understand why I could have ever been uncomfortable with befriending someone outside of my faith. It's sad, but true. I didn't know any better before. I love not having to worry what religion someone is when I meet them.

So, I guess what I have to say is thank you Montana. Living here has made me a more open and a better person. I love it!

5 AM Workouts

2011-10-24T08:52:00.000-06:00

Whew. It's hard to get up and go to the gym so early. Some might ask, "Why five in the morning?". My simple answer is this: I have no legitimate excuses at five in the morning. I can't complain about the gym time, having a babysitter, being busy, motivated or tired.

Did I say I have no legitimate excuses at five in the morning? I was tempted to find an excuse this morning. Five AM rolled around and Brooklyn hadn't woken up yet and I still needed to feed her. It was super tough to not just jump back in my cozy, comfy bed and wait for the familiar shout out. I don't know how I did it but I got myself out the door knowing Jaret would take care of our kiddo. I had a fairly quick but sufficient workout and headed back home. Sure enough the lights were on when I pulled into the driveway. Jaret gave Brookly a bite to eat to hold her over and when I got home I fed her and everything worked out just fine.

I had a gym membership for two years but I wasn't happy with the business hours. I had just had Holland and I let her sleep in her car seat while I exercised. I went regularly for a month or two but eventually Holland started becoming mobile and I could just keep her in her car seat. I was paying for something I couldn't use. There were several times that I wanted to work out in the evenings but I would find the doors locked. The gym hours were just not ideal for my schedule. So, I waited the contract out (don't ask me how I felt about being locked into a 2 year contract). I swore I would never do that again.

I figure that at five in the morning I know I'm going to be tired anyway, so I can't use that as an excuse. Other than sleeping, I wont have other things planned. Jaret will be home with the kids. Jaret and I have planned a minimum workout when we go to the gym. Mine is very minimum, 15 minute cardio. It is really hard to get going but once I'm warmed up I usually find the motivation to do a speed that is worth while.

So, what are the results? I think it's too soon to say I've seen any weight shaved...I've only been going for a week and I eat tons of junk. I figure that if I am doing one big thing right it will generalize into other parts of my life...and it already has! I have noticed more motivation to be productive during the day! This morning I was hoping to go back to bed but didn't really get to. I had to feed Brooklyn and soon thereafter Holland woke up. BUT, even though I'm tired when Holland has needed me this morning I have actually been getting up off the couch to be a good mom and help her. Normally, I'm like a bossy slug stuck behind my laptop directing my kid from afar .

So, let's give a shout out for Access Fitness 24 hour gym...we'll see if I can keep it up. My biggest deterrent is getting myself to bed. I'm working on it! Back off!

Cabinet update

2011-10-23T00:08:00.002-06:00

So, it's kind of funny that I spent so much time and thought on our cabinets when we pretty much don't have any of those options. We're pretty limited but it will for sure be brown. That's what I know!

Ground Breaking News!

2011-10-23T00:06:00.000-06:00

Ground Breaking News!...or so we wish. Our builders were supposed to break ground for our house on Thursday. We checked it out that evening. Nothing. It's now two days later and we did another drive by. Nothing again. We're not concerned...just excited. I'm sure that once that first bucket of dirt is scooped the house will practically build itself.

Maybe I'll go out and start digging :)

P.S. My sister Holly was right. When I told her we were going to build she said to "brace myself". The process is fun and exciting but has had plenty of stresses that I didn't expect. I'm still super excited though!!! We're building a house!

"Parenting With Love"

2011-10-23T00:01:00.000-06:00

"Parenting With Love". I'm half way through this book and loving every paragraph of it. It's jam packed with super beneficial information. Aside from the scriptures I can't think of a book more condensed into such goodness. I want to be such a better mom. I have been feeling really guilty about my lack of patience and understanding with Holland. This book gives me hope. I'm excited to finish it!

The Temple vs. guilt

2011-10-22T23:59:00.000-06:00

I went to the temple with Jaret today and did sealings. We were able to leave the kiddos with a baby sitter and have a very peaceful drive free of kicking, screaming, rage, tension, and whining. Jaret and I read from the book, "Parenting With Love" (which I am loving and recommending to everyone...plus it's under 100 pages!) and while Jaret took a nap I just drove and thought. It was so peaceful. We didn't have anything we had to rush for and we got to take our time in the temple. It was really nice to be able to do sealings again. It strengthened my testimony of eternal marriage and I enjoyed the time to be with Jaret.

Here's where the guilt comes in. Jaret and I went to Golden Coral...must I say more? Yes? Ok, ok. I glut myself. I love, love, LOVE their rolls and honey butter. They also have one of those chocolate fountains and I enjoyed some rice crispy treats coated in chocolate. What I wasn't ready for was when I took a bite of heavenly fried coconut. Oh yum. I told Jaret that the spirit was pushed away to make room for the extra food.

Overall, though, our experience was super beneficial and bonding.

Dogs

2011-10-09T15:21:00.000-06:00

Jaret has been slowly chipping away at my very tall "absolutely no dog" wall. Now that (hopefully) we're going to be getting into our own place he's decided that we're going to get a mini doberman pinscher. I don't need the extra responsibility, I've never been a fan of dog hair, I absolutely don't like the yapping (which I've heard mini pinschers are famous for), don't like their little wet noses touching my skin, licking is gross and I absolutely detest when dogs think they have to sniff your bum. Aside from that, dogs are fun to watch and some are actually cute. Anyway, I guess we'll see if he actually convinces me. The biggest softening has come from the fact that Holland adores dogs.

Kitchen Cabinets

2011-10-06T09:49:00.001-06:00

I've been working hard at this kitchen cabinet option thing...ya know, doin' a lot o' thinkin'. We're only going to have two windows total in our kitchen, dining, and living rooms. Knowing that it's going to be hard to get light in the house as it is I'm hesitant to do dark cupboards.

White has been on my mind and I think I would like white but it's not quite at cozy as we would like....

That's where the distressed Ivory cupboards come in!

I think I really like the distressed ivory because it still has the cozy feel, it's still bright, and it looks nice. Now, we just have to find someone to paint the cupboards for us because heaven knows we wont be able to afford the cupboards pre-finished. Our neighbor distressed his cupboards and it looks great! We'll have to see...but I'm hopeful!

FYI - we officially got our lot and ground breaking should occur on the 17th or 18th of October!

My Girls

2011-10-01T00:11:00.000-06:00

Holland has started to say quite a few new things. This last week has been a bit of a language break through for her in many ways. One of the comments I get to enjoy on a daily basis now is, "my mommy". It's really cute when she wraps her arms around me and says those two little words. It's also amazing what the reply "Okay" can do for a short conversation. When I'll explain something to Holla she has started to say "Okay" instead of fall to the ground in a tantrum. The tantrums are still there, but she's dispersing them more creatively now. Anyway, I'm really pleasantly surprised when she tells me "okay". Holland gives the best hugs.

Brookly is quite the cuddle button these days too. She enjoys just hanging out and attacking anything within reach. I love to just hold her all rolled up in a ball in my arms. She's always full of smiles and is such a content little girl. She's my relief in the day. There are very few times when I don't get a smile from my darling little girl when I look for one.

I love loving my sweet babies. They're growing fast and I feel like my preoccupation with life is making me miss out. I guess this is a good time to recommit myself to enjoying my girls as much as I can.

That reminds me, Holland has begun to put legos together. It's super cute to watch her little mind work as she stacks them up. She loves it! She's also been enjoying putting the wooden train tracks together and loves even more to destroy the tracks that I build ;)

Holland has been doing a fantastic job of staying in her new toddler bed. Jaret and I are very surprised that she stays and very proud. The poor graduate can't seem to stop from falling out of it though. I heard a thump in the middle of the night last night and went in to dry her tears and ended up sleeping next to her while she held my hand. We've already heard a thud tonight and the night is young. She seemed to recover from this one a little more than last nights.

These are the good moments of being a mom. I love and adore my little girls. I love being unconditionally loved by them. Sometimes I come down hard on Holland but she never fails to show me how much she loves me in spite of getting in trouble. I hope that never changes.

Stamp of Approval

2011-09-30T23:59:00.002-06:00

Welp, after the whole run around it looks like things are working out in our favor! Yay! We're pre-qualified for a loan, we got our lot (I think), and we should start digging in a week!

Brookly

2011-09-29T23:25:00.000-06:00

Brooklyn is such an active yet super good baby. She makes having two kids possible and even pleasant. She's so content for so much of the time that I find myself forgetting that she's right there in the same room sometimes. Content is a good word to describe her.

Ravenous is also a good word to describe Brookly. The kid can suck! We've been giving her a taste of some new foods and trying a sippy cup out on her and she frantically tries to devour whatever we put within reach. It's entertaining and startling. If we take it away and she's not done, "AHHHHHHH". It's not a cry it's a a screeched yelp. You give it back and she's immediately happy.

The last word that I choose for kiddo number two is active. She loved tummy time (believe it or not) and is getting really good at turning herself around and rolling from her back to her tummy and back. We put Holland in her new toddler bed donated from our friends, the Masses, and let Brookly play in Hollands old crib and she almost reminded me of a pig rolling around in the myer. Back and forth, back and forth she rolled from side to side. It's so fun to see her making these milestones!

Holland has done a fantastic job in her new bed for the past two days. I'm curious to see if it sticks. She already discovered that she could get out and play at nap time but I only had to go in once to coax her back into bed. The question is whether or not she will realize how much freedom she's really been given and put up a good fight in the future.

I'm so proud of my little girls. I'm enjoying writing this because I'm actually taking the time to think about and realize how much my little girls are progressing. I'm usually too busy to do that during the day. Before I know it they will be all grown up. Wow. I still can't believe I'm a mom. Though I don't always, today is a day I love it.

BTW-Holland is doing a fantastic job with her potty training as well.

Anxiety

2011-09-29T23:11:00.000-06:00

So, Tuesday we sit down with our builder after being told we would be just fine to go ahead with our build and the day after all the papers are signed it all unraveled. No wonder everyone says to buckle your seat belt when building a house. We've been calling and talking and talking and calling people all over the place. When Jaret and I decided to look into buying a house the first thing we did was go get pre-approved. Our lender pretty much said, "here's your number, go shopping". Welp, we got to the cash register and found out that our money had deflated. The RD loan we were going to use to buy our house changed; where it once didn't require mortgage insurance it now does. On top of that there's some 2% Guarantee in the closing costs...whatever that is. Does this affect our buying power? YES! "Oh, and by the way, if you are on probation at work we can't give you a loan until you're off". WHAT?!!! Can I tell you the anxiety I've been feeling the past few days?!!! Come to find out and lucky to hear, there is no formal probation for Jaret's job. Whew.

Because our buying power is affected we qualified for less than what we worked out with our already gracious builders. We had already signed the paperwork and the builders were ready to get the plans approved and buy the lot...but with these changes we can no longer get a guarantee that we will be approved now. Everyone's nervous. Yesterday, I was sure we were going to lose our earnest money and worst of all respect from our builder. Forget the money, we can recover from that. I don't like looking like I didn't do my homework, especially when it affects a friend. (The builder/agent is a friend) Nevertheless, she's been awesome about the whole situation. She called me this afternoon just before I was about to meet with another lender only to tell me that the lot that we picked is going to be bought by someone else at 2pm today...and she hasn't been able to convince the financer on her end to buy it without us knowing more about whether or not we can get approved. WHAT?!!! I'm freaking out now. You're telling me that of all of the open lots that have just been sitting there without an owner in the last year, someone else wants to buy the exact same lot that we want in the same weekend?! No way. Jaret told her to go ahead and get it if she can convince the financier. She said she would do what she could.

Anyway, Jaret and I met with people, and it looks like we should be able to get a loan for what we need. I chat with my friend and she said it looks like things should be alright...I don't know what that means exactly but I'm just going to take it. I tell ya what, I am still feeling anxiety and I am not a fan. I can now see why it is not as much fun to build as it should be. You can't even pick out a trim and enjoy it because you don't even know if it's going to be yours!

I'm freaking out and I don't think I've felt anxiety quite like this before. My friend Tasha was at the house when I got the news that Jaret wouldn't have to worry about probation at his job. When she came over I was in a terrible mood and had a whole lot of anxiety. When Jaret let me know we were in the clear it was like handing candy to a toddler in a tantrum. I was suddenly happy and cheery again as if there was never a problem. Is it legal to act like that at age 28?

Anyway, we think it should work out for the best. We prayed about it and felt good when we made the decision to build this house. If it's meant to happen it will. I'm not going to lie though, I wouldn't mind having the answers sooner rather than later.

On a happier note, I'm excited about the exterior color! Iron Grey, with bright white trim and a spiceberry door and peaks (aka. dark grey house, white trim, red peaks) ! I think it should look nice!

Yay! We're building a house!...I think...

Merry Christmas to us!

2011-09-26T23:06:00.000-06:00

Ya know, if you would have asked me a year ago about being in a situation similar to what we're in right now I probably would have thought of all the reasons I would be discontent. Now that our family is here today with a different job then we though, a smaller salary then expected, and moving to a subdivision I wasn't interested in a year ago - I have to say that I am happy.

This evening Jaret and I sat down with our agent and builder and we were excited to start signing our lives away....and after a lot of explaining and talk we did just that. So, we're buying a house! Hurray!

It's been pretty fun thinking about the house and getting to pick our colors and stuff. After our meeting Jaret and I picked the exterior color of our house from their selection and it looks like it will be an Iron Gray with White trim. I like the contrast.

So, when are we going to be in this small contrasting beautry? We found out today that we'll probably be in before CHRISTMAS! Whew!!! I can't believe how quickly everything is happening. I am just glad that I've been thinking about and researching this house stuff for the last year or I would probably be panicking right now.

Things have really been working out for us. There have been plenty of road blocks, speed bumps, stop signs, and detours already throughout this process but overall I'm happy with where we're going and what we're getting out of life. We're very blessed and very lucky.

I'm so excited that we will get to have a small yard! Yay! I took Holland and Brooklyn over to the lot today. There are some Aspen Trees just across the trail at the end of our lot that will give a nice view and shade the backyard. It's pretty much the best view in the neighborhood. And we're only a few houses down from a small park. Yes!

Though there will unavoidably be future twists to our building process, I am super excited that we are going to be getting to our own home. I never would have imagined us here a year ago but I'm glad we are. How lucky are we?

We're building!

2011-09-23T14:23:00.000-06:00

So, we did it. We are taking the plunge and building then buying a house! We're going to build over in Four Corners in the North Star subdivision! Our house will be small but very cute! What will it look like? Welp, you'll just have to come visit us when it's done! ...I'll probably post a pic if we get one ;) 3 beds, 2 baths, 1500sf....and we are going to have our own little yard!!!!!

It's been quite the process to get here. About a month ago Jaret turned to me in church and said something along the lines of, "I think it's time for us to buy a house". I didn't have any complaints! So, we started searching and thinking and talking to people. Nothing was quite feeling like it should be our home. I've been scoping the valley out for over a year now and have had my eye on a lot in North Star that I kept on coming back to. "Wouldn't it be great if we could build a house on this lot?!" I thought in my mind...just about 5 times a day. (No, we wont be building on that lot because it's a little more pricey, but we're going to build down the street along a beautiful tree line!) Anyhoo, I started talking to builders I knew and builders other people knew. I was convinced we had to build a house with a basement. Every reply we got from the builders we spoke to was pretty much the same, "your too poor to have a basement, even if it's unfinished". That's what they thought, anyway. I finally had someone help me find someone who said it could be possible. So, I neglected my kids while drawing up something that would be super cost effective to build. Yeah, I think my drawing looked good and the floor plan was great...but the builder didn't agree. So, we said, "you pick the plan then". While that builder was crunching numbers and doing whatever it was he was doing, Jaret and I chat about this 1500sf, single level home. When it comes down to it, this smaller house just feels right. Do I miss the idea of a basement? Of course, but this new place will suit us just fine!

LOL, the other builder just called me...that's all.

That's my quick summary of the craziness. I had fun designing my own house and drawing it up but I'll love being in someone else s design too because it will eventually be my own!...in 30 years ;)

911

2011-09-12T16:52:00.000-06:00

My sisters are such great examples to me. I just read the words my oldest sister, Holly, shared about her thoughts of the events that took place ten years ago yesterday. (I actually stole this photo from her blog without asking...I hope she will forgive me ;) ) I remember where I was ten years ago yesterday. It was my freshman year at Snow College and I was in my music class. I remember a student saying something about a plane crashing into the world trade towers. I had no clue what these world trade towers were and I certainly didn't believe that people had flown airplanes into them. I remember walking into my apartment and sure enough, the news was filled with the footage of the unbelievable tragedy. What a sad day. The world changed that day. More so for some then others.

Yesterday, as I stood in the airport waiting for a friend to return from Iraq I couldn't help but think of what a blessing it was to have someone return home that I cared when many did not and still do not get to see their loved ones walk through those airport doors. I'm grateful for all who selflessly serve our country. I'm grateful for the freedom that I am blessed with at the expense of others. I am honored to be an American and I only hope that I can be a positive reflection of what this country is founded upon.

So, here's a thanks to all of you out there who are serving in the military, working at home, or contributing anywhere else and have sacrificed for the benefit of our sweet land of liberty.

Life as we know it...

2011-09-12T16:31:00.000-06:00

Life as we know it in the Laurence house hold is like a raging river with white water rapid agendas sprinkled with a few short, very short, calm stretches. We currently find ourselves trying to keep the two little tykes a float while we run around looking at houses, meeting with real estate agents, talking with builders on the phone, and looking at plans.

We've also enjoyed having Jaret's family stay with us for two of the last four weeks which has been quite a fun change. I don't know if Jaret's poor family enjoyed what they were exposed to but we were glad to have them come. Poor Jaret's dad was here for days one through five of potty training and managed to get the stomach flu from me during his visit. Sad day. I just heard from Jaret's sister, Tiana, and found out that we somehow managed to get her sick with same thing the four of us have been struggling with...some sort of sinus infection. We're still cruising along and have managed to make it through the worst of it. I think we bonded as a family being sick together. What mom doesn't like getting up with a baby several times a night when they're both sick ;).

I would say that the biggest challenge, come to find out, is me. I've been struggling with age two and have committed myself to reading words of wisdom from the experts. There's good and bad news.

The bad news: Come to find out that it's not age two that's the problem. According to experts it's me. Bummer.

The good news: I can control myself better than my own kid...I think...I hope.

So, I read on. I finished one book and have been grateful for it. Now, I'm onto the next. I started it yesterday and am completely blown away at how jam packed the pages are with pure parenting doctrine. This could be the scriptures of parenting...I'll let ya know if it works before I actually claim that statement. The book is called "Parenting With Love" by Glen I. Latham and it's not even 100 pages. That's my kind of book.

Something else I've really been enjoying is the private basketball coaching lessons I've been giving. It's so fulfilling to see such commitment and progress by the younger generation. I continue to be impressed by not only their work ethic but their attitudes and character. I've got a great bunch of girls!

Last but not least, I absolutely loved Stake Conference. This past week has been black and white. It started out pretty black. I was probably as down as I've ever been and it wasn't looking good for a quick recovery. Luckily Heavenly Father came to the rescue and sent and Apostle and General Authority to talk to me. I was blessed with three - two hour sessions that picked me up, built me up and left me with more than I realized I could have at this point. I am so grateful for a loving God who knows and loves me personally. I really got what I needed out of that Stake Conference. I feel like I can be happy again and I have hope that it can stay. I feel like I have more motivation to do what is right then I've had in such a long time. I love my family, my friends, and even myself more than I have in a long time. Will it last? I dunno. I guess that is up to me. This Stake Conference reminded me of my testimony of the Holy Ghost and how it cleanses us and lifts us up. The Holy Ghost brings things to our remembrance that we sometimes forget. That happened for me this weekend. I have light back in my life and it feels so good. Nothing cures my weakest hours and darkest days like a good dose of spirituality.

So, the river rages on but I am no longer so scared of the rapids. I've got my safety vest and paddle to protect me and my family and friends to enjoy it with.

A little land...

2011-09-06T21:57:00.001-06:00

So, we wont be able to get a lot of land like we were hoping...but I think we can get a good starter home in a nice neighborhood! Who can complain about that! We haven't decided for sure, but we might be building! Yeah!

Land!

2011-08-30T22:31:00.000-06:00

I went out with my Realtor today to look at some houses. I had a great time looking at the houses and imagining us in them. I could hardly believe it when the last house was in Bozeman and about an acre of land! I liked it when I first saw it but I loved it by the time I left. Everything is pretty simple. Large lot, small house. My mind started racing while I thought about all of the things we could do with the house and land. When I got home I told Jaret about it, showed him the pictures I took, and he headed over and took a peak at the lot. Now he is thinking of what we could do with the lot.

It's priced about $20,000 above what we're approved for but we'll probably take a shot anyway.

House Hunting

2011-08-30T08:06:00.000-06:00

It's true. House hunting can be stressful. Whatever happened to just chilling out and enjoying the process? It's supposed to be fun then people like me come along and have to stress and complicate everything. Today's goal: Look at houses and love looking!

Hiking The M...Sort Of

2011-08-30T08:04:00.000-06:00

Who in their right mind wakes up at quarter to five in the morning. Wakes their baby up to feed her. Then heads off to hike a mountain in the pitch dark with the stars shining brightly? Yeah, that would be me and Emily. Though, I'm not in my right mind but Emily is...and we did it. We hiked, that is, but we didn't make it to the M. Emily brought the body guard, her dog, and we got part of the way up when her trusty friend started to bark. "That's not the squirrel bark", commented Emily. So, we froze in our tracks and I don't know about Emily but I had lots of scenarios running through my head of us running from mountain lions, bobcats, and bears. It could have been a deer but we couldn't see anything in the pitch black. So, we decided to turn around. Hiking down in the dark is a lot more challenging than hiking up. Miraculously we made it back down and started up the easy trail. Not too long later we had to turn around and head home in order for us all to make it back before our lives woke up.

I think I've hiked the M and NOT made it more times than I've hiked and made it in the last two years. While I was in college, if someone would have predicted that I would ever have once not made it to the M I would have laughed at them. Now I just laugh because I don't care and have nothing to prove. Where did that competitive spirit go?

Bakin' a cake!

2011-08-25T23:46:00.001-06:00

Is it normal to having cravings when you're not pregnant. I can't remember if I was like this before I ever had kids but I sure have perfected getting cravings since! As Jaret and I were chillin' watching a little Seinfeld I got a huge craving for cake! I didn't even really care what kind (except white cake with white frosting, even worse is yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Don't know why but I just don't like it). So, I mix up the batter, throw it in the oven and head off for the store to get some frosting. I returned going to the store AND getting gas, walked into the kitchen - 3 seconds left! Talk about timing! ...Sort of. You see, there's a reason most people bake round cakes in two separate pans. Because if, oh say, someone like me decides to put the whole cake in a small but tall round dish then the outside gets nice and crispy and the inside stays soup. In fact, I may have just invented Cake Bowl Soup. Anyway, I don't think I like Cake Bowl Soup and I'm too tunnel vision on normal cake to try it. Instead, I'm sitting here typing about my disaster piece hoping that turning the temperature down will turn that soup into a nice and fluffy pillow for my mouth to mash. I hope I learned my lesson.

(15 Min. Later) Looks like it turned out okay! Nummy!

Buying a .... something!

2011-08-24T17:03:00.000-06:00

Okay all of you home owners out there! I need your help! Though we have a very limited income we are seriously thinking of investing in a home. We may have some house options if we buy in Belgrade and very limited options of buying a townhouse in Bozeman. What I need to know are the most important features we should look for and be aware of in this process. I already know a few things that are at the top of my list:

Must Have:
3+ Bedrooms
2+ Bathrooms
2+ Car Garage
Fireplace - It's freezing here, I HAVE to have a fireplace!
Back Yard - Some sort of back yard to grow a garden and have the kids play in.

Strongly Prefer:
Pantry
Two Levels
Open Floor Plan

That's what I've come up with for the moment. What has been important for you to have in a house? Feel free to give me some tips and pointers!

Bummer

2011-08-24T16:54:00.000-06:00

So, it looks like Jaret wont be a Bozeman Police Officer. It's bitter-sweet. I don't think I would have loved the life style but Jaret would have loved the job. It would have paid better than what we have now but would not have had as much of a potential to really increase in wages. We would have been able to get into a nicer house sooner, too. I have to admit that I'm fighting the urges to be a little bitter. I know Jaret would do a fantastic job and that he would be a very honorable and upstanding police officer. It's been a lot of months of wondering. At least now we know and can move on.

There are a lot of other people going through much harder things. I ran into an old co-worker today and found out that her 20 year old daughter died in a car accident last month. You can't say anything that can make someone feel better. I tried to listen to this friend as she told me of her grief and all I could do is just feel for her.

I guess it just comes down to the same old textbook answers- "Life isn't fair", "It wasn't meant to be", "Maybe there's something better waiting", "Maybe God has a better plan for all of us". Though the textbook answers don't take the hardships away, I guess they offer a small piece of hope and encourage us to move forward with faith.

I have a great life, a loving family, we're healthy, we're strong. We'll make it through these bumps and roadblocks and I am confident we'll look back one day and see that everything turned out well.

So Smart

2011-08-22T14:46:00.000-06:00

I love having realizations that my kids are SO SMART! I'm sure every other mom feels the same way. Anyway, Holland is doing a great job with potty training and I don't ever have to ask her if she needs to go potty when we're at home. When we go out is another story. While she's home, she can pull both her pants and underwear down and she goes (most of the time) with out me even knowing she had gone. The trick to finding out is the LACK of underwear and pants and finding little "treats" in her potty. I'm so proud of her! I have to admit that when I first started training her a week ago I didn't think it would last. She was pretty much trained in one day and hasn't had an accident in the house since the second day!

The other things Holland did that surprised me happened a couple of days ago. I put a pile of shoes in the middle of the living room floor and asked her to go put them in the closet for me. Well, she didn't put them in the closet. She took them all and lined them up by the front door. With the exception of my flip-flops, which were separated, she paired up all of the shoes and lined them up in a straight line against the wall! I couldn't believe it. She must have seen other people line their shoes up neatly at other houses because she sure didn't learn it here! I thought it was pretty neat.

Brooklyn has been playing in her exersaucer for probably a month or less and I am surprised at how much she actually plays with the toys. She spins wheels and sucks on a variety of toys as she turns herself around.

It's these small things that make being a mom so enjoyable. It is fun to watch them grow and progress.

Potty Progress

2011-08-18T17:26:00.000-06:00

We're already making progress! I've gotten Holland to pull her underwear down and go in the potty twice! I feel a little hope.

...I hope all of this isn't too graphic for anyone :)

Potty Training

2011-08-18T14:59:00.000-06:00

Holy Cow! I knew I didn't want to get involved but I guess I forfeited that right when I started feeding her. Holland started potty training on Monday and I did a small amount of research and decided to do the speedy way... Yeah, I should have done more research before getting myself into it. I've opened pandora's box and I guess I'll have to deal with it!

I decided that this would be the ideal week because Hollands friend Annie would be here and Annie has had a good grip on this potty training thing. So, I went all out. I bought tons of salty snacks, sugary drinks, blockaded the kitchen and got out the treats, stickers, charts, and potty pictures. I stripped the kiddos down to only a shirt and let them at it. They loved drinking to their hearts content. The first day went fabulous! They drank and peed in the potty.

After nap time I was feeling a little over confident and put underwear on Holland. That's where the success came to a hault. I've had a really hard time getting Holland to want to pull her pants down when she sits on the potty. Lets just say that the six pack of underwear has been used up quickly. Holland has only really had accidents when she's had something on.

I have two regrets: 1. I wish I would have started training with the underwear on. 2. I wish I would have taught Holland to say something to me when she needed to go potty so I could help her with her underpants. So, now we're playing catch-up.

Catch-Up has consisted of lots of candy and lots of creativity. Holland is pretty much addicted to candy and seems to need that about equally with the praise. It just doesn't seem right, but in order to get Holland to get used to pulling her pants down and gaining the confidence that she can do it I started playing a game with her and Annie. "Whoever can pull their skirt down will get an M&M. Good job! Here's an M&M! Whoever can pull their underwear down gets an M&M! Good job!" Annie is super good at it and Holland only made a couple of attempts because she saw Annie do it and she wanted the M&M's. At least I know she can do it. The next part is making that same connection with going potty.

Ugh. I feel like Barbie. My cheeks hurt from having a perma-grin. "The Potty is so fun!" "Good job! You went in the potty!" "Wow!" It wears me out. I would not make a good Barbie. I have to admit that even though this whole process has been a ton of relentless work, I've been impressed with Holland doing as much as she has. It has been rewarding to see her understanding and attempts.

So, my hopes are still fairly high that we can lick this thing. I know there are some that take over a year to train and I don't want to think about that. I'm having her clean her messes up and hoping that will help.

She had a very nice, runny, huge accident in her pants this afternoon and decided that she got to clean a lot of it up. I wiped her off outside. Enough to not have the brown goo drip on the carpet and had her pick her pants and underwear up and take it to the bathroom. She then got to swish her underwear around in the potty. It was super gross and she knew it. It was actually kind of funny. I had to try not to laugh as she took her little fingers and tried to pinch the very edge in order to avoid the poo. I made her do it though. She got to swish, swish, swish and ring them out. Then, I turned the bath water on without plugging the hole, sat her in it, gave her a wash rag and told her to wipe her legs off. I was firm but loving...if that's possible. I was surprised. She resisted a little but did it.

Anyway, this is quite the process. Would I have started it had I known it would be so much work? Probably not. I would have waited another six months. Maybe ask me again in a couple of weeks. Hopefully we will have many kinks ironed out and a different answer.

Good job to all of you moms who have successfully potty trained their children! I know I'm glad my mom potty trained me! Most of all, good luck to all those in the process or who are soon to be!

Singing Baby to Sleep

2011-08-12T09:44:00.002-06:00

Holland was pretty cute this morning. I put Brooklyn down for an early morning nap and Holland went into Brooklyn's bedroom and stood by the crib and sang Twinkle Little Star to her....just like we do for Holland when she goes down for a nap. I just stood and watched from the doorway with a grin on my face.

Book of Mormon Challenge

2011-08-07T22:15:00.000-06:00

A good friend decided she is going to read the Book of Mormon in 100 days. One of my New Years Resolutions is to read the BOM. I haven't even gotten to 2 Nephi. So, I'm following my dear friends example and began again this evening. I'm on chapter 9. I feel good about it. Plus, I am in a dire need of a spiritual makeover.

Holland's second birthday

2011-08-02T00:32:00.000-06:00

We celebrated Holland and Evan Francis' birthdays this weekend. The party was at Evan's house (he's a day younger than Holland) and it was a cowboy/cowgirl theme. It was a fabulous party! It was so much fun to watch Holland and Evan carry their hats around. I didn't think I would even be able to get Holland to put her hat on but for some reason she surprised me and carried it and wore it everywhere! One of my favorite parts was after the cake was cut. Darcy made a super cute cake (5 cake mixes big) with two cowboy hats made of fondant and cake on top. She gave Holland and Evan their hat to eat. Jaret put a scoop of ice cream in the middle of Hollands hat and for some reason I just loved watching her eat it. She seemed so happy. It was a perfect little birthday for our little noodle.

Earlier in the day I took Holland and Brooklyn to the park and had a very simple yet fun picnic. All we had to eat was Nutella on bread and I let Holland open her little lemonade set and we played pretend for a while. The weather was perfect and I loved seeing Holland have so much fun. It has been a while since I have been able to slow down enough to enjoy the moment. It was good for me to be able to remember how much I love my little girl and reflect on how much she's grown. She's such a sweet and smart little thing. I found myself adoring my children even today. What a lucky mother I am to have such beautiful and healthy children. With a wonderful husband to complete the package I can not really ask for more.

Personal Training

2011-08-02T00:19:00.000-06:00

I think I've found one of the most enjoyable jobs I've ever had. I've enjoyed coaching in the past but as of recently I've found that I really enjoy personally training an individual in their basketball skills. A friend called me up the other day and asked if I wouldn't mind meeting with her daughter who is going into the eighth grade. I've met with her a couple of times and she is the perfect student. She is very teachable, she listens and applies what I tell her and even more surprising is that she practices it on her own. In just two sessions I've noticed huge improvements. I find so much fulfillment out of this. I feel like I can help finely tune this athlete to become what she really wants to be. I can't help but wonder how much better of an athlete I could have been had I had someone to focus on me so closely. I love the idea that this girl gets that especially because she wants it so badly. I love being a part of it. I'm so lucky!

Diet 7-UP

2011-08-02T00:13:00.002-06:00

I blame Jaret. I am really liking Diet 7-UP. I didn't even used to like soda because it burned my throat and now I feel so refreshed when I drink it. It can't be good for me, can it?

I don't know

2011-08-02T00:10:00.001-06:00

Jaret and I are getting a good taste of what it's like to earn our way in the world. After our three month wait we finally got a phone call from the Bozeman Police Department. It wasn't good news but it wasn't necessarily bad news. We still don't know whether or not Jaret has passed the back ground check but we do know that he's not going to the academy in August. I guess the PD can't afford to hire him yet. There's still a possibility for January and if not January then April. I think the most interesting part of the story is the timing. It just so happens that early that same day Jaret was pressured by his work to put in his resignation so that they could post his position. They wouldn't let him rescind his resignation and was told he could re-apply but would most likely not get the job due to the fact that he could still leave. Jaret had three weeks to find a new job. One of our friends happened to call later that night and encouraged me to apply where she works - HC Company. They had an opening for a part time evening position and thanks to our friend I was hired the next day. Jaret also applied for a position at HC Company and was hired this last Tuesday. Yay! I went into work last Friday and found out that I was pretty much fired. This had nothing to do with performance but more about the fact that it didn't look good that a husband and wife worked at the same place. Don't ask me the total reasoning especially since we would be working different hours, but we decided that it was best for me to go without a fight in order to keep peace and a positive start for Jaret. I've been trying to figure out what I can do instead. I've thought about baby sitting, starting up piano lessons, I applied at Kohls, and best of all I have started doing individual basketball lessons.

Anyway, I've come to a conclusion. I don't know. I don't know if Jaret will like his job or if it will even take him anywhere like we hope. I don't know if he will be a cop or not. I don't know if we will ultimately stay in Bozeman. I don't know if we will be able to buy a house any time soon. I don't know.

I think what is more important than what I don't know is what I DO know. I know that Jaret and I have felt peace throughout this last couple of weeks. I feel that things happen for a reason and I know that Heavenly Father is looking out for us. I know that things will work out. They may not necessarily play out how we have planned but I've heard that God knows the better way. All we can do now is hope and have faith that that's true. I'm grateful for the peace that we've felt. I know we're blessed...and pretty darn lucky!

Rolling rolling rolling

2011-07-26T10:25:00.000-06:00

Brooklyn rolled over onto her tummy for the first time today! Yeah! She even rolled back onto her back once as well! She's been such a sleeper up to this point that it's weird to transition into her having opinions and preferences. I love it though! She usually prefers chillin' on her own with a little holding inbetween. When she wants something though, we all sure know it!

Dang I look good!

2011-07-19T00:08:00.000-06:00

We're loving our new spacious home! Today, Holland took me by the hand and led me up to her very own bedroom that she shares with her toys and not with all of her mom and dad's stuff (that's what Brooklyn's room is for now). Her favorite thing to play with me is "eat" and "drink". She never tires of bringing me pretend food and drink. Each time I finish my meal she says, "mose?" This means "more". It's a good thing this food is not real because I would be breaking my scale right now. After stuffing me she decided I needed a make over. She put lots and lots of chap-stick on the both of us to the point where it was practically dripping off of my lips and face. Then she took her little doll brush and tried to brush my hair. Her skills started out more like giving me a bop on the head but she eventually got the idea that the bristles are supposed to comb through the hair. I'm pretty sure she was trying get me back for all of those times she was "hurt" while I did her hair. In short I would say that her brushing stroke could be described as "bop and rip". It was fun to play with her and watch her learn to use the brush...sort of. After that make over I looked pretty darn good!

So, we're contemplating potty training. We ask her on occasion if she wants to use the potty and she's performed a hand full of times. I told Jaret that I would go full force once we moved into our new place. How did that come so fast? So, next week is execution week. I'm still gathering tips and formulating my action plan, but I think we'll shoot for it on Monday of next week. She's been taking her diaper off pretty consistently and so that makes me think that she's pretty ready. Jaret actually got her to go #1 on the potty this evening and we were super excited for her and let her have a Seseme Street sticker. Holland came to me to show her sticker and she had a beaming smile from ear to ear. I haven't seen hear smile that big in a long time. I hope that this goes as planned!

Yay for Fathers and Double Joggers!

2011-06-19T23:32:00.000-06:00

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there! Jaret said that his day went well. I guess we can count it as a success if he feels it is. It has been fun for me to watch and reflect on Jaret as a father. He loves his little girls and is so good about trying to teach them with every opportunity. One of the most recent fun things that Jaret has done for Holland happened yesterday. We've been wanting to get her a bike for quite a while now. He stopped at a yard sale yesterday and happened to find an adorable little princess bike! It was perfect! It also came with a helmet, elbow and knee pads, and the cute little pom poms that stick out of the handle bars. Holland loves it! The only problem is that she can't ride it just yet. It is a little big for her and doesn't have training wheels. We would love to find a balance bike to start her out with. Anyway, it was pretty fun to see how excited Jaret was to give it to Holland. He loved giving it to her and was excited when she told him thank you all by her self! It was a cute moment.

I guess it shows that my perspective is transitioning when the first man I think of, as I think about this special day, is my husband. I love and adore my own father and he is a great example to me. I have such a warm and loving feeling as I think of the sacrifices that my dad has made for me. I've been truly blessed. My dad is one of the people that I trust the most. Some of the things I admire most in him is that he's a great example of serving others and managing his money. He is willing to bend over backwards for his family and friends.

Another fun thing about today was that I was given a double jogging stroller! It's probably more of a project at this point then actually a stroller, but with a little elbow grease and creativity I think it can eventually do the trick. I'm excited and up for the project. The seat has some pretty good tears and the tires need to be replaced but it's pretty much what I've been hoping for. We'll see if we can get it up and "running" so that IF summer ever comes the girls and I can go out together and enjoy it!

Happy Fathers Day!

Bathroom Peace

2011-06-18T07:55:00.002-06:00

When I was a little kid I remember pounding on the bathroom door trying to get to my mom. "Can't I get a moment of peace and quiet?!" She would plead. I didn't understand then, but I sure understand now. I used to think that my only time away from it all was when I locked myself in the bathroom. I am now convinced that there is no such thing as "bathroom peace". Even if you can't see them, you can hear them. Sometimes very loudly pounding and whaling at the top of their lungs for you. That's one thing but what's even more dangerous is when you CAN'T hear them. So, you think you have peace, but really you should be scared. I took my few moments for myself this morning and it was nice and quiet...to my detriment. When I emerged from the bathroom I found my toddler pouring baby cereal all over some moving boxes in the living room. She dumped not one but two boxes all the way out. It is all over.

In the short time it has taken me to write this blog, my toddler has also managed to try and put Brooklyn's pants on and fall. She put both feet through the same leg of the pants, stood up and tried to walk, and stumbled around until she took a hard fall.

What is she doing right now? She is now sitting on my lap stuffing her fingers in my mouth clamoring for attention. "Mommy, Mow?" "Mommy, cloths?" "Ouch!" "Sing Sing Sing." I guess that means this blog is over. I'll probably look back and think all of this is hilarious. For right now, I'm mildly amused. :)

To all of you moms who are searching for "bathroom peace", I am sorry to say that it doesn't exist.

Beautiful Eyes and a Clean Nose

2011-06-18T00:22:00.000-06:00

The pressure to be beautiful is greater than I realized. My almost two year old decided she needed to put mascara on today. She gets compliments for her eyes all the time but I guess it's just not good enough. So, I'm eating my breakfast and trying to read the news paper when I look down at little Holla sitting on the floor putting my mascara on. It's all over her eye lids, eye brows, and everywhere within the vicinity of her eyes. It was too late to take it away and she wasn't hurting herself. So, I shrugged my shoulders and decided against the battle. "I may regret letting her get away with this", I thought. Next thing I know, she's by Brooklyn. "Holland! Don't you dare try and put that on your sister!" I retrieved the mascara thinking I had saved Holla's little sister...pretty sure Holland was able to get a swipe or two in to decorate the two month old. Luckily it didn't even phase Brooklyn. The whole thing was actually pretty funny.

The mascara incident was not the first of the day. Holland had already unrolled a whole bunch of toilet paper to "wipe Brooklyn's nose" with and it was all over. I love my little girl but she sure has been testing me lately!

In order to survive the rest of the day we took a field trip to the Museum of the Rockies. It was a nice change of scenery for a gloomy day.

Swimsuit and Cowgirl Boots

2011-06-15T23:28:00.000-06:00

I let Holland play outside with the hose today and Jaret thought it might be a good idea to put her in her swimming suit since she was soaking her cloths. Ironically, she hardly got wet once in her new attire. So, she got to take a nap in it. After her nap I asked if she wanted to go outside and play with her little friend, Emma. She was enthusiastic and insisted she wear her cowgirl boots. Her outfit reminded me of when my younger sister, Brittany, was young and ran around in her swimming suit all day. Holland was super cute with her crazy hair, swimming suit, and cowgirl boots. Let's just hope it doesn't become a habit.

Today

2011-06-09T14:53:00.000-06:00

Today is another day. So far, it's been filled with lots of cleaning. I pretty much washed the whole bathroom down to prepare for our move and the youth that will be staying at our house for youth conference. It looks so good! Holland even helped scrub the floor with the brush I was using. She decided to use the same brush to scrub just about everything else, including her face. Yeah, I helped rewash the face to insure living. I'm not quite done with the kitchen yet, but it will have to be ready by dinner time because we are having guests. I guess that means I will also be cooking dinner as well. This happens to be normal. Holland just woke up, so I guess I'll go be a mom to her again.

FYI- We're still waiting to hear back from the police department about whether or not Jaret has passed his background and psych test. It may be another couple of months though.

Holla Holla Holla

2011-06-07T20:28:00.000-06:00

So, my guess is that the jealousy has caught up with our daughter. That and sleep deprivation. We've got a serial biter. It seems like most kids leave with Holland's fang marks imprinted in their hand or arm. She even bit an innocent little baby at Brooklyn's blessing gathering on Sunday. I broke down and started bawling when I saw the imprint. Thus far mothers have been very gracious and understanding but who is going to want to consistently invite a vampire kid over to enjoy their kid for lunch? Not me. We will soon be banned from every play group, family gathering, and park. We'll be banished to our home and quarantined until the plague is fixed. Perhaps this recently growing habit stems from a build up of Holland wanting more attention since Brooklyn was born. Maybe it's from her lack of a good nights sleep due to her chronic cough. She's obviously at the age where biting is not surprising but it sure is painful for the poor victims and my nerves. Whatever the cause, my efforts are in full force to see if we can tame my child's beastly ways.

Cough you say? Yes. This is no two or three weeker. Try a cough that has lasted since February. What is that? Three or four months? Every time Jaret and I would hear it we would cringe. She got to the point where she would point at her crib and say, "ouey"(sp), each time she would wake up and be put down to sleep. We have brought her in to the doctor several times and been sent home with the hope that waiting it out will result in it going away. We did have her on antibiotics at one point but she decided that she would be allergic to her medicine and get a bright red rash that convinced us that she had the chicken pox. So, we stopped that treatment and went back to hoping. It's obviously not gone. This past week the cough got worse. We took her in yet again and decided we weren't leaving without a prescription. Luckily the doctor agreed and didn't need any convincing. It's been three days now and I think it's starting to work! At night, instead of hearing hacking I hear peace. Holland has decided that she enjoys sleeping without coughing so much that she has added an hour to her bedtime schedule as well as to her afternoon nap schedule! Yay! The best result is that my little terror is a lot happier.

Is this the cure for her biting? Probably not. She bit her friend this morning. Holla Holla Holla. Sad day.

Brooklyn's Blessing

2011-06-07T19:52:00.000-06:00

We had our sweet little girl blessed this weekend in Nephi, Utah. Her cousin London was being blessed on the same day and we decided to crash her party. It turns out that it was a fantastic idea because I didn't have to worry about keeping up with Brittany's (London's mom) creativity and preparation. She was completely prepared with fun kids straws and bubbles and she had a whole BBQ potluck put together with more food than anyone could eat. Sunday was our sweets off day and I enjoyed every sweet thing I ate. Yum!

The other fantastic part about crashing this particular party was having all the family there! Most of my siblings were there and we had an aunt and uncle and even my grandparents made it! What a fun surprise! I wish we could have stayed and enjoyed them longer but we had to get home. We made it home by 2:00am and that was only because we were lucky enough to only have to make one stop with the kiddos.

So, the blessing itself was swell. I know that Brooklyn will bless our lives and I can imagine her as our little peace maker. Let's see if I'm right, huh?

Here are some pics of our priceless angle and family:

4 generation picture. Grandpa Andrus (Mom's Dad), Grandma Scott (My Mom), Me (Brooklyn's Mom), Brooklyn

Here are a few of my favorites of Brooklyn's cousin London:

RIP Shredder

2011-06-07T19:24:00.000-06:00

Dear Shredder was a good replacement fish for "E". Secretly, I liked "E" better then Shredder but I never told him that. I didn't want him to feel bad because he did a good job as a replacement fish. I think the poor rainbow beta with fins that looked as though they had been shredded must have known he was only second best because he jumped off the deep end...or should I say he jumped OUT of the deep end. As I was walking past his home, called a glass vase, I couldn't see the little guy in the there. I stepped closer to get a better look. "Where's Shredder?" It took Jaret and I a few minutes until Jaret noticed the shriveled up little cuisine on the floor. We fried him up and ate him. Just kidding! I'm actually feeling guilt because we didn't have a proper burial for him. No moment of silence. No story sharing time. We didn't even flush him down the toilet. Jaret scooped him up and placed him in the trash...then touched me with his gooey hand.

May you rest in peace our dear Shredder.

Pretend

2011-05-24T13:28:00.000-06:00

Holland is starting to play Make Believe. It's adorable! She was using a chapstick case that she'd emptied out and pretending it was juice. Holland, Brooklyn, Baby Doll and I all had plenty to drink! It's fun to see her imagination starting to develop. I can't wait to see what's to come...aside from the ever intensifying fits.

I think my imagination is at work too...I think I saw Brooklyn give me a smile while looking at me today. I love that!

Pronunciation

2011-05-24T09:29:00.000-06:00

Holland is not saying "dow dow" quite as often now. Instead, she is saying "Aw doane". This mean's she's all done. Both are adorable, but I have to admit that I have felt the first twinge of sadness in realizing that my first little girl is growing up. How do you capture all of your favorite moments and hold onto them forever? My timing doesn't seem to capture the moments on film; so, I guess this is my best option.

Holland has suddenly become such a sweet heart in the last two weeks. I'm not sure exactly why, but it seems to have helped by giving her a little more freedom. I will let her go outside and play in the yard while I keep an eye on her from the inside. I'm usually feeding Brooklyn or making dinner. I've been impressed with how well she stays in the boundaries I've set for her. She listens, understands, and communicates better than I expect. I feel like being a mother has become so much more fulfilling when I see her progressing so well.

One problem we're having a hard time overcoming, though, is biting!!!! Jaret and I have read books to her, talked to and lectured her, put her in timeout, and I have even gave her a swat on the bum but her little friends have continued to leave with bite marks on their arms. She does it sometimes out of anger when trying to get a toy and I am able to intervene before it gets too bad, but the worst bite mark she gave was to a little friend while they were just lounging on the couch. The poor girl had a bruise for over a week. I felt soooo bad.

Activity

2011-05-19T14:39:00.000-06:00

Can I just say that I love my renewed ability to move! Yay! The other day, my friend Ashley and I rode our bikes to the "M", hiked it then rode back. It was so invigorating! I've also been able to play a little basketball with the girls at the high school and I feel so much better running this time around then after the first kiddo. I love it!

Jaret got to get out and do a little mountain biking himself. He actually rode his bike UP to the "M" with a friend. He came home so happy and enthusiastic about getting out. I think these activities are good for our marriage. There's more joy in the home. I LOVE SUMMER!

Holland has become quite the active little girl too. She loves to ride her bike, play in the sandbox, go to parks and climb on the jungle gyms and so on. I continue to be impressed with her abilities and watching her is a fun part of being a mom. She's also starting to become a good little helper and it's so fun to see how well she understands me when I talk with her. I am getting a glimpse at what it's like to reason with her and she's being so much more obedient then she once was. Yay for progress! Babies are definitely cute but it seems like motherhood becomes so much more rewarding when you see what a sweet hart your kids can be.

Speaking of babies, Brooklyn is definitely cute. She's still being such a good baby and is waking up more during the day and sleeping more at night. Yes please...and thank you!

Brooklyn's Blessing Announcement

2011-05-19T08:20:00.001-06:00

Pics of Baby Brooklyn and her cousin London

2011-05-05T13:56:00.000-06:00

So, Jaret and I made a quick trip to Utah to see my family this last weekend. It was great and rejuvinating for me...I don't know if it was the same for Jaret but he's a good sport. Anyhoo, my sister Brittany had her little girl, London, 16 days before Brooklyn was born. She took some pics and I stole them from her blog...with her permission of course.

Our two little sleepers - Jaret and Brooklyn

My sister Brittany got a kick out of how limp Brooklyn was.

Big Sister, Holland, is trying to steal Brooklyn's cute little bow that Aunt Brittany made for her.

Brooklyn Merry Laurence (4-15-11) and London Elle Jensen (3-31-11)

London

Though London was born two weeks before Brooklyn, Brooklyn is the heavy weight champ.

Here is a pic of Brooklyn's long little fingers.

London and Brooky's feet. Soooo cute.

Hopefully they'll be BFF's ;)

It's nice to be wanted...

2011-05-05T13:16:00.000-06:00

After so much unknown for so long, April has proved a monumental month! We had a beautiful and healthy baby girl and Jaret was offered two jobs!!! He was first offered a position in a management training program with First Interstate Bank in Great Falls. He accepted the offer not knowing whether or not he would be offered a position with the Bozeman PD. It turns out that he was given a conditional offer with the PD and will have the job as long as he passes the background and psych test!

On Monday, Jaret called and declined the offer with the bank. Tuesday, the CEO of the bank called him and asked him to reconsider giving him until Friday to decide. He told Jaret that he was their top candidate and reminded him that he would be making more in the long run with the bank. According to one of the ladies Jaret spoke with, the CEO hasn't called any candidates in ten years. So, it was a big deal that he called Jaret. I guess the CEO is a Stake President and he and Jaret had a pretty good connection during their interview. Anyway, Jaret has been praying and thinking about it. There are pros and cons to each career but Jaret is heavily leaning toward the police officer position.

All in all, we're grateful to have options and after months of rejection is nice to be wanted.

Chicken Pox?

2011-05-02T00:39:00.000-06:00

Holland woke up with a mysterious red rash all over her body last Friday. Jaret and I couldn't remember what the chicken pox looked like but that's what we decided it was. She played in a lot of public places with lots of crazy kids this past week so it only made sense. Regardless of our own diagnosis I called the pediatrician and asked her opinion. She didn't agree. She decided that Holland is allergic to the medicine she's been taking for a chronic cough: Amoxicilan (sp). Come to find out, there are a lot of people who are allergic to this medicine. Whatever this red rash resulted from, it was pretty intense and a little alarming. Poor Hollands cheeks and arms and legs were on fire with these little polka dots. She was pretty good about not scratching too much but we could tell that our poor little girl was struggling with her reaction. Luckily the rash has finally started to subside and needless to say we stopped giving her the medicine. The cough came back :(

The Birth

2011-04-25T22:22:00.000-06:00

We couldn't have asked for things to go more smoothly for the birth of our second little angle, Brooklyn Merry. Though the weeks leading up to the birth were very stressful and emotional I think the timing was perfect.

The birth in a nutshell:

Friday, April 15. 2011.
9:00am - Show up to the hospital.
11:00am - I'm dilated to almost a 5. Dr. Bradford broke my water.
12:00pm -Nothing - maybe a mild contraction every twenty minutes or so.
1:00pm - Chatted with Dr. Bradford in the hall for a half hour trying to kill time while still more of nothing happened.
1:30pm - Ended our conversation with the doctor and something started to happen! I started having some stronger contractions.
2:00pm - Jaret and the nurses and I chatted. Contractions where so strong that everyone in the room had to be silent until they subsided so that I could concentrate on the first song that popped in my head. It is pretty funny to look back and see everything fall silent during a contraction then pick right back up. Of all the places I could go "Jolly Holiday" was what popped into my head. Huh? I can't remember the last time I saw Mary Poppins.
2:50pm - Dr. Bradford walks in and sees that there is progress. I'm dilated to a 9.5. He gets his nurse Emily and starts getting ready to catch the kid.
2:55pm - I tell the doc that I have to push. He rushes to finish getting ready and says to try and wait. Yeah right. It's like throwing up. How do you "wait".
3:03pm - Two contractions later Brooklyn is born. Crowning hurt.

Dr. Bradford had me pull Brooklyn up onto my tummy. I was still hurting and had trouble embracing the moment but the pain gradually subsided and I realized how lucky I was to have a healthy little girl and that I really did feel great. The best part...no tearing!!! I love not tearing and recommend it to anyone!

Brooklyn has been such a little angle and sleeper. She's a blessing in our lives and we love our new addition to our family. We're the luckiest parents in the world because we have been blessed with two of God's finest children. I still don't understand why we have been trusted with these two little ones but I suspect it will be because of what they will be able to teach us over the years. I love being a mom. What a fulfilling job.

Easter - Sugar Hunt

2011-04-25T21:55:00.000-06:00

Our 2011 Easter Sunday was a success. It was very low key but I enjoyed it.

We all went to church as a family and I left feeling uplifted. It was just what I needed. Then we came home and took naps, popped some microwave fettuccine alfredo into the microwave and ate our "Easter Dinner". It tasted great!

The funnest part of the day was the little easter egg hunt we put together for Holland. I decided that Holland's life goal is to seek out sugar. She's constantly going through my purse and the house looking for anything sweet, including gum. She seems to be finely tuned and can find anything tucked away in the deepest corner. I believe that it is for this reason that she was so successful at her Easter Egg Hunt. She knew there was candy in each egg and for the first time in her short little life she had an attention span longer than 2 minutes. She probably collected 30 eggs and stuck it out to the last one. It was a lot of fun to watch her and I enjoyed seeing how excited she would get when she would find each egg. She would look around and then the light would go on and she would give the cutest little chuckle.

After we had the Easter Egg Hunt we played a game with our friends, the Adams. During our game we didn't go out of our way to monitor our child who was sitting on her little princess couch devouring her chocolate. Each egg had a piece of chocolate wrapped in foil and a few jelly beans. Most of the jelly beans ended up half chewed and spewed out on the floor. I was surprised that Holland was not interested in the jelly beans but I was not surprised at her excitement over the chocolate. She quickly tired of removing the wrappers from her treasures and decided to chew the chocolate with the wrappers on then spew the remainders out to rest next to the gooey jelly beans. She sealed the day with her chocolaty finger prints all over everything. Isn't she sweet?

I enjoyed spending the day with my family. The only thing I would have changed is that I wish we would have sat down and had a little thought on the Savior and the true meaning of Easter. I guess I'll remember that for next year.

Church

2011-04-24T22:31:00.000-06:00

Jaret and I stopped by our friends house yesterday and I got coaxed into going out and buying a dress. I bought a dress and was excited to wear it to church today in spite of the "baggage" I'm carrying around. What I was more excited about than wearing my new dress was being able to feel the spirit as I learned about Jesus Christ on Easter Sunday. My visiting teachers came by the other day and delivered an uplifting message that reminded me how good it feels to feel the spirit. So, in spite of having a new born we got the whole family ready and attended the block. I'm so glad that I did. I loved listening to the speakers in sacrament meeting and really enjoyed the uplifting messages from the following classes. With all that is going on in our lives right now I really needed today. I'm grateful to know that any time I want to be uplifted I can have my cup filled.

I think I have a problem...

2011-04-14T14:14:00.003-06:00

So, I think I have a problem. I love my doctor! I don't think I'm supposed to love him as much as I do. I also love his nurse, Emily, and his trainee student person, Gehan. I love the whole staff there at the Bozeman OB/GYN. I just came back from what is probably my last OB appointment before we have Brooklyn and it's taken a few years but I've developed a fun relationship with a lot of the staff. Dr. Bradford and Geha told me that they kept looking for me each day they were on call. Geha said she would jerk awake and wonder if I was coming in. Their excitement gets me excited! Geha is sad because after getting caught up in the hype that's been going on in the last two weeks she's flying home for the weekend. I really like her and wish she could be there too. Sad day. At least Jaret will be there though!

I guess Dr. Bradford told Emily this morning that he had to be very careful checking me today because he didn't want me to go into labor until he is on call tomorrow. I just think it's funny that they had a conversation about me. Emily said, "Oh, yeah. We have a plan". I think secretly I like the attention and the enthusiasm surrounding this whole birth. It's been so long since I've gotten really excited about anything and it feels good. Mostly it's just nice to be excited about something with lots of people. I used to get so excited about lots of little things and somehow that has gotten away from me. I think that the challenges of the past couple of weeks has made right now that much better. So, it's fun to just be excited right now. I will probably be very much NOT excited while I'm in the middle of lots of pain tomorrow, but the timing seems right! I'm on the verge of being dilated to a 5 and my doctor isn't on call until 8am. I just have to make it to tomorrow.

So, if I wasn't specific enough, I am scheduled to be induced tomorrow! Then Jaret can go off to his interview in Billings on Monday and Tuesday without us biting our fingernails. I hope and pray that all goes well, that Brooklyn is healthy, and it can be the start of another chapter in our fairy tale.

Just Waiting...

2011-04-13T13:34:00.000-06:00

So, I'm trying to be a more patient and loving mom today. So far I'm doing much better than yesterday! Holland continues to test me, but I'm determined to be patient!

So, aside from kid stress going down what is helping the levels even more is that Jaret will be in town until we have the kid! No more trips to worry about between now and Friday! If the kiddo doesn't come on her own then she will be "coaxed" to come on the 15th. Jaret has to leave for another interview and will be in Billings over night on the 18th and return late on the 19th. I'm just glad we know he'll be here for the birth! Yay! We made it!

Now, I'm just waiting...

I think we're going to make it!

2011-04-12T12:37:00.000-06:00

Jaret should be back from his Denver interview in about 8 hours. I'm not having a ton of contractions. So, I think that means he will be here for Brooklyn's birth! Yeah!

I just have to say that I don't know what to do with Hollands whining. It's driving me crazy!!!!

Episode - Read at your own risk!

2011-04-08T09:54:00.000-06:00

My poor husband had to put up with another one of my episodes last night. I had another doctors appointment yesterday afternoon where the doctor stripped my membrane. Doctor Bradford said to come on in if I had any sort of consistent contractions. I was thrilled at the idea that we might be having this baby soon, especially with our favorite doctor. Our family has developed a relationship with Doctor Bradford over the last few years and I would love it if he was able to deliver both of our babies. So, my hopes were high leaving the office and I let Jaret know that we planned on this kid coming tonight!

Hours passed and I had a few contractions here and there but I didn't feel like anything was actually developing. Jaret and I did a little internet research and found that after having their membrane stripped many women went into labor within hours thereafter. But our small search also showed that I was more likely to have the baby within a couple of days of "the procedure" rather than immediately after. So, time passed but not much changed. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, "we have to have this kid before 8am or else we're going to be stuck with a doctor who doesn't care about us". It didn't help that the doc told me he was excited to deliver our baby. Who wouldn't want to have their baby delivered by a doctor who was actually excited to specifically deliver your baby?

Bedtime arrived and I was ticked. "Why on earth isn't anything happening?!" I went to bed sulking. "It isn't going to happen tonight. We're going to have the baby in the next few days when our doctor isn't on call. We had a blast delivering Holland with doctor Bradford two years ago and the next doctor is going to be boring and uncaring."

Of course I'm over emotional and even being ridiculous about who delivers our baby but it goes deeper than just being about which doctor I like the most. I think I like the idea of trying to have control over something during this time where it feels like I have control over nothing. I find myself worried mostly about what's out of my control. Is the birth going to go smoothly? Will Brooklyn have health issues? How will Holland treat her? How will I treat Holland on little sleep? Am I going to be an even bigger emotional wreck after having a baby? Will it be hard to get back in shape? Will my no sweets diet be excruciatingly hard? Will my efforts show any physical change? Is Jaret going to be here for Brooklyn's birth? Are we going to get a job this month? If not, will we have enough between savings and Jaret's job to sustain us until whenever? Will we have to get a second job again? What if he does get a job and we have to move? Will it be hard to find friends? I will miss the one's I've made here. Will I be lonely with my two children and have no one to go to? Will I even like where we have to live? What if he gets on with the police force here and has to go away for a few months for training? How will I handle his absence and the idea that he will be put in danger on a regular basis? Will it be a hard adjustment having him do shift work? Will he like the job he gets? What if he get's a job with the OCC and we have to move to Washington DC and he's never home? Will people be nice there? How will I pack all of our stuff up with an infant and toddler on hand? If we have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night who can we call in the middle of the night to watch Holland? Who will she stay with while I'm in the hospital and Jaret's at work? I have lots of friends willing to help but will I overuse them? What will they expect in return? Holland has been waking up with dry diapers and this is probably a good time to start focusing on potty training, but is there any point since we may have so many big changes coming?

These are just the things that come to mind. I'm full of plenty of worries that are out of my control. I was doing just fine handling everything and then some straw had to come and break the camels back.

Luckily I woke up and felt a little better this morning. I talked with Jaret and he tried to be sympathetic but he admitted that he didn't really understand why I was so emotional. I know there are plenty of women out there who have been through the same worries. I'm not crazy, right? I believe that Heavenly Father is mindful of our situation but it's hard to keep that in mind sometimes. I also know that in the long run I will look back at this time and realize that I made the situation harder just by getting emotional about it but everything turned out just fine and we learned and grew from it. In spite of that knowledge, it doesn't change how I feel. I think time will though. Things will happen in their own time and iron themselves out.

In the mean time, I'm still ticked that Doctor Bradford may not deliver our baby. In order for that to work we would have to have the baby after 8am on Monday the 11th and Jaret would leave for Denver that afternoon. What are the chances that we can make it to the 15th after having my membrane stripped? That would be ideal....except for all the worry that will take place between now and then!

Worrying About Things Not In My Control

2011-04-07T21:17:00.000-06:00

I'm in one of those crabby moods where the world feels like it's upside down. Everything is completely blown out of proportion and I'm glad to have it that way to sustain my crabby mood. Isn't that how it works? Really, there's no good reason for my bad mood but I decided that I am fed up with worrying but I can't seem to help myself.

Today, I went to the doctors for my little check-up and he "stripped my membrane" and said to come on in if I had any sort of consistent contractions. I love my doctor and our family has developed a good relationship with him over the years. I would love for him to deliver our daughter but he can only do that when he's on call. He gets off at 8am tomorrow and it doesn't look like any consistent contractions are starting. Uhg. Fine if we have the kid a week later with our doc, but the little kiddo will probably come in the next couple of days, during Jaret's Denver trip, or just after the doc gets off tomorrow morning and we'll be stuck with some doctor that doesn't care about any of us.

What if Brooklyn does come tonight, though? I don't know who we'll have watch her. I don't know where she'll stay while I'm at the hospital. We have friends that are totally willing to take her, but I don't like the idea of taking advantage of them or overusing or overwhelming them.

I don't know if things will go as smoothly as they did with Holland. I don't know who my friend can find to watch her daughter that I'm supposed to look after tomorrow. What if I the no sweets diet I'm going on after Brooklyn is born is extra extra hard and I resent the fact that I just bought one last box of Oreos to enjoy but could only eat one because my appetite stinks right now. I'll have to give the whole thing away along with all the yummy ice cream in the freezer.

If the kid does come tonight, who's going to fill in for me at church? Am I going to be so exhausted all the time that I'm constantly upset with Holland? I sure am having a hard time dealing with her whining and clinging and lack of eating. All she wants is sweets. I can't blame her, I feel the same way!

The kids aside, what about the job and the doe? What if Jaret doesn't get any of these jobs he's interviewing for? What if he DOES get one or more and we have to move? What if

Anyway, I think a good nights sleep should help.

Adventurous Weekend!

2011-04-06T14:04:00.000-06:00

Welp, life always keeps us hopin', eh? I guess it started with the doctors appointment on Tuesday. The doctor said that I was "ripening" up for the birth. In spite of the news I decided that I would still go with Jaret to Coeur d'Alene while he tested with the police force up there. I was excited for the idea to get away with my husband and enjoy a vacation as well as check out the area to see if I really thought I could live there. Saturday evening came and I started to feel plenty of contractions. They got close enough together that we decided to take a trip to the birthing center. After an hour or two of watching my contractions (2 - 3) minutes apart, they admitted me and we all planned on having the kiddo in the new however many hours. The contractions progressively got stronger and this went on for about 4 to 5 hours. Then, they started to lighten up and gradually died down and came only sporadically. What the heck?! By four in the morning Jaret and I asked if we could go home. They told us to wait until 7am when the doctor would come and check me out.

7am came and went but no doctor showed up. I guess the doctor on call decided not to show up at all and just left at 8am when her shift was over. So, we waited until 9am for the next doctor to finally come in and tell us that the 5 that I was dilated to was back down to a 4.

We went home exhausted and a little bitter because the doctor recommended that I not go on the trip. I was really looking forward to getting out of town and spending a little one-on-one time with my husband for the first and probably last time in a while. Jaret could see how let down I was and wanted me to go with him. So, he decided for me that I was going with him after all. I threw my stuff together. Took a list of all the hospitals along the way and even packed a "birthing kit" just in case.

The drive over went well, aside from my paranoia that were were going to have the kid on the trip. Luckily we didn't need any of the baby prep stuff and had a great time! We drove around looking at neighborhoods and enjoyed eating out together and being able to focus on just each other. Jaret took his tests and I watched as he did the physical testing. It was pretty fun to see him competing against the other applicants. He kicked trash in the 300meter run! I felt like I was watching a track meet. He was slow at the start but coming around the turn he kicked it and passed everyone getting an awesome time! I'll bet he had the fastest time of the four groups that went. I was fun to watch, even if it was just a pass/fail test.

All that was left at this point was an interview. He got the first slot on Tuesday morning at 7:30am. We went to bed pretty early that night and I decided to sleep in the recliner in super cheep hotel room so that I didn't keep the poor guy up with my tossing and turning. Plus, it was going to be better for my heartburn...So, I thought. I think the recliner was broken. When I put the backrest down there was a huge gap between the backrest and the seat. It was kind of annoying at first but I got used to it.

I woke up at 2:30 feeling pretty nauseated and feeling like my heartburn was old faithful about to spew out of my mouth. I took a Tums and was able to get back to sleep but by 5am I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and found myself sick with the stomach flew. I don't need to go into details, but we all know what that entails.

In spite of all the noise I was making in the bathroom, Jaret never stirred. He slept well through the night and was able to get up and go to his interview refreshed. I stayed and tried to sleep some more but was once again very glad that he was the first to interview because I was ready to get home and be more comfortable in my own home.

I wasn't the only one who was feeling sick. As our drive progressed, Jaret started to feel sick as well. We both took turns driving and eventually made it home to our little girl. Believe it or not, she was recovering from the same thing as well. So, the three of us little sickling went home and relaxed. A good nights rest did us all good and though we're not 100%, we're all feeling better than yesterday.

So, this entry is probably pretty boring to most, but for us the weekend was definitely filled with emotion and adventure. We almost had a baby and we could have had her in a different state. Jaret could have potentially gotten a job and we all got sick. Whew.

One interview down and hopefully three to go! We're still crossing our fingers that Brooklyn will help us time her arrival!

Freakin' Out!

2011-03-31T09:04:00.000-06:00

My younger sister sent me a picture of her little girl this morning. London El Jensen was born 15 days early! I'm trying not to FREAK OUT! I am not ready for Brooklyn to come for another two and a half weeks. Let's see if she starts out being an obedient child and stays put like her mom told her to. :)

Decision Made

2011-03-30T21:14:00.000-06:00

So, after some thought and research I've decided to go to Coeur d'Alene after all! I may as well not worry about having the kid at the hospital in Bozeman when there's no guarantee that I would get my doctor for the delivery anyway. Here's my short comfort check list:

Hospitals that will accept my insurance between here and Coeur d'Alene. Check.
Addresses, phone numbers, and maps of all facilities. Check.
Holland staying with a friend. Check.

I'm excited to go and check it out!

The Doctor Said...

2011-03-29T15:04:00.000-06:00

I just came from Doctor Bradford's office and he said that I am dilated to 4" and 70% effaced. What does that mean for when the baby will come? Who knows! I'm at almost 37 weeks along and the kiddo could come tonight or in three weeks. BUT, Doc said that when baby does decide to come, it could be a pretty quick labor.

How does that affect this weekend? (Moan) I dunno. We were planning on going to Coeur d'Alene. Jaret will go for sure because he's going to test with the Police Department, but I have to decide whether or not I'M going to go. We were totally looking forward to a little vacation and now I'm having doubts. I guess we'll see how I feel when Sunday comes. I want to go, but should I?

Is it possible?!

2011-03-28T08:11:00.000-06:00

I woke up today feeling rested! Is that possible? It has been sooo long since I felt like I had a rested and good nights sleep. I love it! I feel so much better then I did from this sickness. Yes please!

On Drugs

2011-03-27T23:07:00.000-06:00

I don't think I ever imagined that I would be in the excessive drug taking boat but here I find myself. A drug addict. Being sick this week pretty much put me over the edge with trying to deal with life. I'm surprised that this is the first time this pregnancy that I've gotten a cold, but since it's taken so long to get here, it decided to be a doozy that would stay a while. Symptoms: Runny nose, Cough, coughed so much got a head ache, coughed so much that what is left of my abs started to hurt and feel like they were tearing, try to hold my pee when I cough (sorry about the graphic details), can't sleep because of cough, not aloud to suck on cough drops, achy, lungs started wheezing and ears were feeling weird and I couldn't hear as well. So, the ear and chest thing worried my doc and he put me on antibiotics to prevent an ear infection and bronchitis. Cough medicine wasn't working so he put me on prescription cough medicine to help me sleep better and get over the junk. I still take Tums and an acid reducer, vitamins, & iron. So, at any one time I could be taking three or four different things when I usually avoid taking even one thing. Why do I do it? Welp, don't really want to be sick when the baby comes and that timing is not always predictable...plus, I've been miserable and it helps me feel better. I don't think I'll do a very good job of getting old and having to take 10 different pills for whatever. Though I joke and complain about the pills, I'm grateful for it because I feel a little better and don't have to worry about getting worse.

I need to go blow my nose and go to sleep because this cough medicine is making me drowsy.

Job Hunting Progress

2011-03-19T22:51:00.000-06:00

As the last few months have past it's amazing how quickly I am opening up to options I never would have previously considered. I started out only being willing to live in Bozeman, Utah, or Houston. Now, we could be anywhere...literally. Jaret has received some positive feedback from a couple of companies and continues to apply for law enforcement positions. For all who care about what's up in there air, here is our calendar:

This week - HUGE Application due for Alaska State Trooper. Position to be filled in February 2012.
1st week of April - Test and potential interview in Coeur d'Alene, ID for a career as a police officer.
2nd week of April - Fly to Denver, Co for a second interview with the OCC (Office of the Comptroller of the Currency) a Federal Finance Job that could place us pretty much anywhere in the country.
3rd week of April - Drive to Billings for a second interview with First Interstate Bank for a spot in a Management Training Program. We could be placed in South Dakota, Wyoming, or Montana.
4th week of April - Potential interview with the Bozeman Police Force for a career as a police officer.

It's all in the country, but it's all over. Yes, Brooklyn is due in week 3 of April. Lets just hope that she times her arrival well! I'm just thrilled that we have options that are headed in a positive direction! I feel that we're sooo blessed to have these options! How great will it be if Jaret is able to land one of these jobs?!

Wish us luck!

A Bunch of Pics of Holland - 18 Months

2011-03-14T00:54:00.001-06:00

A good friend needed Holland as a prop for her photography class. So, we gladly agreed to offer the kid in return for these adorable photos. Isn't she cute! This is Holland at 18 months old:

We played some music to see if we could get Holland to dance but she ended up being more fascinated with the stereo then dancing.

Holland obsessed with the vacuum again :)

Holland still wasn't giving us as many smiles as we were hoping. So, I did something I don't usually do and gave her some makeup to play with. She loved it. She's such a "pretty girl".

Ha ha! She's trying to open the makeup!

Thanks for taking the pics Ash!

State

2011-03-14T00:08:00.000-06:00

I got to travel with the Bozeman Lady Hawks and help coach them in the state tournament in Butte this last weekend. Though they were picked as the favorites going into the tourni, they took third. They had a fantastic final game.

Here are my thoughts on my first coaching season with the freshman level - It's been good. Though the season was long and I found myself frustrated at times because I felt underutilized, I came away with a greater knowledge base and I was able to develop a new eye for the way I view basketball. I've mostly known how to look at the floor from a players perspective but as the season has progressed my coaching eye has improved. One of the things I love the most about basketball is that there is always room to improve. I have a passion for the sport and I love finding ways to help others and myself progress. I have to admit that I'm excited to have this kid so I can try a few new things on the court instead of just coaching it. We'll have to see if the boys follows though.

I now have a little over five weeks until Brooklyn is due. I am grateful for this grace period to enable me to try and mend my relationship with my husband and daughter. I don't think any of us realized the toll it would take on our family and it was hard to leave Holland so often. I'm hoping that by me being home with her consistently it will help improve her tantrums and be a bonding time rather then a time of frustration. Lets keep our fingers crossed. I've been reading, "Happiest Toddler on the Block", and have been intrigued by what I've learned thus far. We'll see if it pays off!

Cheers to one month!

It's hit....the no sleeping bug.

2011-03-07T14:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe I've forgotten, but I'm pretty sure I had no problems sleeping when I was expecting Holland (none that my memory is any good right now) and I sure do remember thinking that I felt pretty good in the weeks leading up to her delivery. Welp, that's not the case this time. I can't get comfortable with this basketball belly. I toss and turn which makes Jaret toss and turn and neither of us get much sleep. On top of that, Holland has decided that she should start waking up between 5:30 and 6:30 rather then waiting until her usual 7:00am. Can ya tell I'm a little bitter? That's what no sleep does to me, it makes me a bitter, mean, impatient grizzly bear...and it's only going to get worse. I'm sure everyone's excited to see me when I really get no sleep after Brooklyn is here ;)

I feel guilty for writing this post because there are women out there who either have experienced, are experiencing or will experience much worse than I have to deal with. Forgive me for being ungrateful for what I have. I'll work on the gratitude thing ;)

Potty Training

2011-03-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

So, I didn't plan on starting potty training this early. Holland is showing an interest so we let her sit on the pot. She even has her own mini potty donated from a friend that she likes to sit on. Yesterday was her first time to actually go #2 in her potty! I'm interested to see how this whole potty thing plays out with the baby on the way. I've heard that many kids struggle who are potty training when they go through big life changes. She's no where near having her own little underwear but I guess she's slowly progressing that way! I can't believe it. She still seems way too young to me!

Whirlwind

2011-02-28T21:49:00.000-07:00

I feel like my mind is a whirlwind today. It seems like there's so much to do and not enough time to do it in. This is a common problem that many people face...so I've noticed. Poor little Holland may have an ear infection. So, I'm going to take her in tomorrow and see what the deal is. She's been hanging around other kids who we just found out have ear infections and it would only make sense that she would have it too. She seems fine for the most part but has some small symptoms that make me wonder. She keeps on pointing to her ear saying "ouchy". At first I didn't worry about it because she's pretty much been doing that since she got her ears pierced in January, but now I'm starting to wonder. Plus, she's been waking up earlier than usual in the morning. Anyway, hopefully she doesn't have one but we'll see.

I'm not going to list all the other things that are on my mind. Instead, I think I'll go to bed :)

Baby Brooky

2011-02-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how much Brooklyn kicks! I'm pretty sure that Holland didn't have the same activity as this little munch-kin does. Brooklyn is like a constant party with fireworks going off. It's pretty fun to watch and feel my belly. She's pretty strong but I don't think the kid sleeps. What does that mean for when she actually get's here? Luckily I can sleep through her kicking for the most part.

I definitely feel more restless and bigger with this kiddo as well. The heart burn doesn't help either. We were wondering if the excessive movement could mean that our kid has some "condition". Can doctors diagnose ADHD in the womb? ;) Our doctor assures us that it's a positive sign and they never worry about "over activity". Whew.

I think the hair cut is helping me feel less hideous but I sure do feel like a blimp these days. Oh well, hopefully Jaret and I can follow through with our post baby exercise goals when the time comes. I have quite the distance to go and I've never had to loose weight before until now. We'll see how it goes!

Holland continues to try our patience but grow on the other hand. It's so fun to be able to communicate with her and her new words. She can also be a lot of fun to play around with and her personality continues to emerge. She's quite the cute little fire cracker out of the womb. Lucky Jaret to get to deal with all of us girls for the rest of his life!

Hair Cut

2011-02-27T22:33:00.000-07:00

So, I have a nice husband who encourages me to get my hair done once in a while. I would never come up with the idea on my own but after Jaret told me a few times that I could get my hair done I decided to go for it! We found a recommended stylist (that's what they're called, right?), gave her the pic (to the right) and I got the much needed chop. Success. Jaret ended up liking the cut. My hair doesn't look quite as sexy as what's her name to the right, but it's probably better then what I had...year and half old highlights grown out and consistently stuck into a pony tail.

Does anyone else agree that stylist always make your hair look better than you can? Pretty sure that the first time I tried to wash and style this new hair cut it was a disaster. My new bangs were sticking out everywhere! Ahhh! ...I can't believe I just said I have bangs. The last I had bangs was in 3rd grade! I think I'm starting to get the hang of it though. I'll keep working on making it look like the super start. As for keeping them out of my eyes, that's another story.

I mostly do this hair stuff because I think Jaret likes it when I get ready (what husband wouldn't?). As long as he thinks I'm hot that's all that matters.

Tomorrow comes the color. I may go with low lights this time.

I love today!

2011-02-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

I had this recent thought about how I would like to get more excited about the small things. I've decided that there are so many things around me to get excited about and it will simply make me a happier person. I was able to get most of my house clean the other day and it felt great! I've been able to maintain it which made today a happy day. Why? Because instead of cleaning up a huge mess or sitting around convincing myself I'm too tired to clean I got to move on from the kitchen and living room to folding laundry and doing something for me! I laminated a ton of cute little stories from "The Friend". --I'm copying my sister Merry who does this and reads the stories to her kids at night. The idea is to read them to Holland and Brooklyn when they have the attention span for it.-- Anyway, it was fun to do something so simple and productive that I just wanted to do. I was also able to make lunch & dinner for the family and Holland was a pretty happy kid for most of the day either doing these things with me or playing with friends. Yay for friends! On top of all of that, the sun was shinning today!!!

Torn - Pro's & Con's

2011-01-30T23:16:00.000-07:00

So, it's lucky that I have basketball to distract me from the whole job thing. Jaret has an interview in February for a job he applied for. I don't know too much about it but he said that it's a job that could take us anywhere...but probably not Bozeman. So, I'm torn.

Here are the pro's:
He could have a great start with his career.
It would be nice to have a move done before Brooklyn is born.
It would be exciting to go to a new place.
We might get to move into a bigger place then we're now in.
I wouldn't necessarily have to have a side job or two.
Limbo will be over! ...until the next unknown comes up.

Con's:
We would have to leave our friends.
This mystery place could possibly be much further away from family...like Washington DC.
We would have to figure out the whole moving out of state insurance thing.
I will be sad if I can't have Brooklyn here, I like our Doctor and the hospital staff.
Moving is a lot of work.
We would have to make new friends.
I wont get to coach basketball in Bozeman next year.

That's just what comes to mind. I tend to work myself up for things that are not set in stone. So, who knows if Jaret's even meant to get this job. I'm sure everything will work out the way it's supposed to though. In the mean time, we're keeping busy and time's flying toward the due date. Ahhhh! I am not sure if I'm ready for a second child right now. I have a hard enough time dealing with the first one :)

Limbo

2011-01-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

I feel like we're stuck in Limbo as we wait to hear back from some of the jobs that Jaret has applied for. We're supposed to be out of our current housing in April but we're not sure if we're going to be here by that time. So, it makes it hard to know if we should look for housing here in Bozeman or just keep waiting. We can't really afford anything more expensive then we're already paying on what Jaret and I bring in together, but we're going to have to make it work out somehow because you can't find anything as cheap as student housing...esp. in Bozeman. The baby is due mid April, so, I guess we'll just keep applying and waiting to see what happens. It will work out. Don't we all want to know the end from the beginning sometimes?

Vacuum Again

2011-01-20T13:30:00.001-07:00

So, here's a pic of Holland and her little earrings. They're growing on me. Jaret and I have quickly discovered that the hardest part is not over. Trying to clean Hollands ears several times a day is a fight. She looks pretty cute in spite of the fits though.

Holland and I went to the mall to get out of the house and she wandered into Sears and found a little vacuum. "Oh no", I thought as I noticed the clearance price tag. "I'm going to have to get one". Luckily we got it for a great price. She loved pushing their little vacuum around the store and even though we purchased one for her to play with at home she still threw a bawling fit when she had to part with the demo at the store. She's been having a good time playing with her new toy...but she still makes me vacuum several times a day with the real vacuum.

Piercing Ears = Piercing Heart

2011-01-18T22:46:00.000-07:00

Jaret convinced me to take Holland in and get her ears pierced today. He wanted to do it a long time ago but I wasn't up for it. I don't know if I was really up for it at this point but I decided I would look into it. I took her over to Claire's in the mall and asked all of my questions. One thing lead to another and I found myself sitting in the chair holding my little girl on my lap while two employees pierced her ears. The poor little cry and reaction was heart wrenching to me. Though she looks pretty cute with her new little earrings I already miss her perfect little lobes. I felt like a terrible mom for putting Holland through the whole ordeal...and I don't understand why because plenty of parents have their kids ears pierced while they're young. Some may argue that they should be able to choose whether or not they want it done. Maybe, but it's too late. Anyway, I told Jaret that he can suffer watching the kids cry because I'm not taking any more of our kids to get their ears pierced because it's too sad to me. He and our friend Amanda Stewart joked that it was probably more traumatic for me then for Holland. Maybe. She does look pretty cute though. Her earrings are little flowers.

Vacuum

2011-01-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

So, the little noodle is obsessed with vacuuming. First thing when Holland wakes up in the morning she points to the vacuum and indicates that she wants to get the thing running. I think she enjoys the scary thrill of it because when I turn it on she runs away. Then, she comes back and carefully approaches the vacuum and touches it. Now she help by holding a cord and walking back and forth as the vacuum moves. It's so cute. So, to keep the kid happy (and the house clean) we vacuum a few times a day now.

Holland is starting to go to the nursery at church and I guess they have a couple of little play vacuums there. Jaret said that while every other kid spent a short time with a toy and moved on to the next Holland spent a half an hour playing with the toy vacuum. Hey, if she's going to have an addiction I am ok with her being addicted to cleaning :)

Busy Busy

2011-01-07T13:21:00.001-07:00

Returning from Holiday mode is always a challenge. I'm not sure if the overwhelming feeling is due to carrying a child or if it's because I have too much to do....I'll blame it on the kid. Maybe I'll blame it on both of the kids. Little Holland is a busy toddler and loves to explore...anywhere but our house. She gets pretty board so I try and get her out of the house at least once a day. Aside from visiting her dad at work, Holland's favorite things to do are play with her friends and go to the mall. I let her play around on the little rides (hopefully she'll never figure out that they move if you put money in them), in the toy store and wander the halls. The thing seems to hate the most in life is being buckled into her car seat. If anyone knows of any good tricks to help a toddler actually want to get into a car seat without a bribe or having to bend them PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I try and praise her for the times she get's in it willingly, but those times are few and far between. In the mean time, the bending and bribing will go on.

It's unbelievable to see what changes little Holla is making. She's saying, or trying to say, more words. Yesterday's "thank you" was "doo doo". Today's "down" was "dow" and I think she even tried to say "keys". I love being able to communicate with her. She says "yeah" or "no" often times when we ask her a question and it's so stinking cute! I even like her little, petite voice.

We went to my parents for Christmas and had a good time reconnecting and I enjoyed having that old familiarity of being home. I really felt a need to be back with my parents for the holidays and it was well worth it. My parents are so loving and make me feel special to them. I guess I've missed that special parent child bond lately. Jaret and I have been overloading ourselves with school, work, basketball coaching, parenting, job searching and interviewing, church, and so on. I think we both really feel the weight of life on our shoulders right now. In spite of that weight I feel like something is holding us and our spirits up. We're very hopeful for the future.

For Christmas Jaret got me an Ipod Touch! I've loved it and am already addicted to using it. I know because it decided to stop responding yesterday for no reason. The store didn't have any new ones in stock so I have to wait to exchange it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a little video camera on it. I feel like I can take some decent video of Holland for us all to enjoy later on. The other cameras have either had terrible sound or will only take 30 second segments. I love being able to access the scriptures, internet, kill time on bus trips by playing games, and using the calendar and notebook. Jaret surprised me with this fun gift because he got a Christmas Bonus and Award at work that took care of the whole thing! He's a good husband. I got Jaret some well needed clothing and a fun little helicopter that he seems to love to piddle around with in our front room. Holland has supposedly been a little victim of the propellers a couple of times. She's a curious one. So, Holland loved her little gifts. She got a little couch that she lounges on, a "laptop", and a stroller and a Dora doll. It's pretty cute to see her so excited about things.

On January 3rd, we found out that we're having another girl! Jaret is already worried about the teanage years but we're very excited and have been trying to figure out the perfect name. After a lot of looking at maps and trying new names out on each other we've finally come to a name that just may stick. I think we're going to name our new baby girl "Brooklyn Mary Laurence". There are some pretty cool things about Brooklyn, New York and we like the sound of the name. They've got the Brooklyn Bridge and the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Anyway, I think it's fun. As for the name "Mary". There are several Mary's that are virtuous women to look up to. It will be fun for her to relate to those figures in the scriptures and hopefully pattern her life after them. I asked Holland where "Baby Brooky" was today and she pointed to my belly. It was pretty cute. She has no clue how here world is about to change...I don't think I have a clue either.

The belly is growing and so are the aches and pains. I don't remember last pregnancy as well as I thought I would, but I'm pretty sure that I have more head aches and I waddle. If I waddled with Holland it was in the last month. Everything feels so loose and sore this go around. Jaret trys not to make fun of my duck walk, but I'm pretty sure I look funny. I think the heart burn is starting earlier than I remember as well. I don't even want to think about the sugar/gluecose test I have to take next week. Uuuugh.

Welp, I've rambled on enough. If you got this far, good on ya!

Christmas News Letter

2010-12-22T22:57:00.000-07:00

Aren't you all lucky! You get to read our Christmas news letter on our blog! The whole thing was put together and I was in the process of making it look pretty when the classic computer freeze happened before it was saved. Thus, this quick blog update rather than the cool newsletter.

We're still in Bozeman, Montana living on campus. We're expecting our second child in April and will hopefully find out the gender in early January.

Jaret just finished his last class at Montana State University and is graduating with his bachelors degree in Business Finance. He is in the job market and is just loving the search...who doesn't like looking for a job? :) Currently, he is working at Rocky Mountain Bank as a Bankers Assistant. He is great at what he does and was nominated and selected for employee of the month for December. When not working he is usually playing with and taking care of Holland, watching movies, surfing the net, doing homework, and once in a while he gets out into the wilderness to mountain & dirt bike, hike, and camp. He shot his elk this year on Thanksgiving day. He is currently serving as the Assistant Ward Mission Leader in church.

Hillary is juggling being a wife and mom, and working. She coaches the Freshman B Girls Basketball Team at Bozeman High School and works for a property management company on the side. She is over morning sickness and has a lot more energy. She enjoys resting, spending time with family and friends, watching movies, and surfing the net. Her calling at church is the Primary Music Leader/Chorister.

Holland is growing quickly and learning lots of new things every day. She is now 17months old and will go into nursery in about a month...wahoo! She's saying new words everyday. He most recent new word is ball or "ba". Today, she called her mommy's tummy a "ba". It was pretty funny. Her favorite word is "wow-wee". She loves to play with friends, explore new things, climb, eat anything sweet, and plunk away on the piano. She used to love to go outside until the cold snow came. Now she likes to wander the mall and play in all of the kiddy rides. Thank goodness she doesn't know they move if you put money in them. Holland is a very loving little girl and takes good care of her "baby" doll by giving lots of hugs and kisses. She will be a great big sister. Hopefully, we can teach her not to drop the baby or squeeze too tightly when he/she comes.

Welp, there's a small update for y'all. Merry Christmas to all!

This Past Week

2010-12-17T11:33:00.002-07:00

This past week has been a pretty good one for our family....if you exclude the fact that we are all lacking in sleep. We had an unforgettable experience on Saturday where Jaret and I were able to attend a sealing in the Salt Lake Temple. The family that was getting sealed were people Jaret taught for the last few weeks on his mission.

A Little Nod and a Smile

2010-12-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

Holland is at such a fun age right now! She can understand a lot of what we ask her to do and she's really trying to communicate...sometimes in fits. One of the things I love about her is when she nods. Sometimes she'll nod when I ask her a question. Other times she'll nod while she's doing something like eating her chereeo's in the morning. It always makes me smile because it's so cute.

Yesterday I was showing her some of the colors on her stacking blocks and she tried to repeat some of the colors after me. She even said "Boo" for blue! It was a very special moment. She says plenty of words but doesn't normally try to just repeat them.

Holland has plenty of favorite words and I've decided that daddy is one of them. She says it perfectly and often! While Jaret is at work I here daddy so much that it normally results in a visit so Holland can see him.

Agency: Essential to the Plan of Life

2010-12-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

I listened to this General Conference talk this morning and appreciated the message that I heard about Agency. It was a good eye opener for me because I've been slacking on my spirituality. One of the comments that Elder Hails mentioned was about being someone who picks and chooses which commandments to follow according to our own wisdom rather then simply obeying because it's right - regardless if we understand why or not. To choose the right is liberty and eternal life. I can feel that I've been a sort of captive these last few months or even years. I appreciate the spirit and how it touches my heart and inspires me to change. I'm also very grateful for good friends and family that are positive examples to me in my life.

2010-11-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things I know in my head. I know that life will work out for the best if we do our best. I know that we are happy by choice and that blessings are shed upon us daily. For some reason I just don't seem to be able to completely convince my heart of those things.